Confessions of a Teenage Christian (A Devotional Book for Teen Girls)

September 9, 2014 [My Testimony]

Hey guys! So I feel like sharing your testimony is something really important, and it's an especially easy way to share your own experience with Christ to nonbelievers!

So, I've never really considered my testimony anything special. In fact, I didn't necessarily think I even had a testimoney. But everyone has a testimony, no matter what it is. What's special about a testimony is that everyone's is different; everyone has a different way of coming to know Jesus and asking Him into your heart,

I believe my testimony begins around my hardest times. I was baptized when I was in 3rd grade, but I feel like that really wasn't the highest point of my relationship with Christ. I feel like I was almost pressured into it and that I just did it because I wanted Jesus in my heart, not because He had saved me. That's a decision I do regret, but I do believe I still am saved. Maybe it wasn't right when I was baptized, but I definitely feel Jesus working in my heart, and I truly believe that somewhere along the way He did save me.

My hardest years were the last 2 years of my life. Like I've explained many times before, I lacked a ton of self confidence. I felt awkward, I thought of myself as a nerd, a loser, a loner, and many other negative names. Whether or not people believed the same about me, that was how I saw myself. I thought of myself as useless. I didn't really have many friends. I would think to myself, "If I were to disappear, would I really affect anyone? Wouldn't the world go on just fine without me?" Yes, I did have these thoughts, but I never thought of actually killing myself. I still knew in my heart that it wouldn't fix anything. But I still knew Jesus loved me. Yes I was a Christian, yes I believed that Jesus loved me, yes I followed Jesus' commandments. And that's the thing: I was a good girl. I would find myself questioning or doubting God: "God, why are you doing this to me? I've loved you for as long as I can remember. i've served you. I've followed your commands. Why is my life so miserable?" Since the years, I've realized how necessary all of those dark times were for me. I honestly believe I wouldn't be the person I am today without them.

I've always felt socially awkward. In almost every situation, no one talked to me or I couldn't build up the nerve to start a conversation. I just wasn't good at talking. I would cry myself to sleep at times. Now at this age, I was trying to figure out who I really was; what came to mind when I thought of myself, what I saw blaring out about me. And not only was I having trouble with friends, I was having a lot of difficult problems at home. Although I wish not to go into them, I would say that was one of the toughest moments of my life. I could literally feel my life coming apart. And I still asked God that burning question, "Why is this happening to me?"

I think my life really turned around halfway through last year. It was like God had opened my eyes. Yes, I knew that I depended on God, but that was when I could really feel it in my heart and when I could really believe it. It felt as if all the storm clouds were fading away. Several girls reached out to me, and I felt as if God was sending someone to help me. And most importantly, the middle of last year was when I started this book.

When I started this book, I never dreamed of it becoming this popular. I started it because I thought it would be a good thing to put in this community. I know Wattpad is hyped up because of fan fiction. Unfortunately, most fan fiction contains things that we as Christians should not openly read and feel okay with. I thought this would be almost a light in a dark room. Also, it was to do my part as Jesus' messenger. Like I said, I was awkward and shy, so it was hard for me to talk to people, let alone talk to them about the Son of God. I felt as if I was failing as a Christian. So I started writing these devotions.

Over time, the book grew drastically. It still amazes me at the progress it's made. I have so many people tell me how my book has affected them, but this book has changed my relationship with The Lord. I would never be so dependent on Him without this. Before when I said I felt useless? THIS BOOK GAVE ME PURPOSE. It made me feel like I was pivotal to life, as if I was almost like God's wingman. I have the opportunity, just like all of you, to share the good news of Jesus Christ! WE ARE SAVED!

Over the course of time that I have been writing this book, everything about me has changed for the better. I am honestly so much more happier with my life. I feel as I do have a purpose, that I do have a reason to jump out of bed in the morning with a big smile on my face!

So yes, I did not feel as my testimony is all that special. That being said, the only reason I am taking this time to type this, is to help all of you. I pray that this testimony has maybe sparked something inside of you.if you've been drifting from Jesus, that it has kindled a flame inside of you, and reminding you that you need Jesus in your life! And maybe if you don't know Jesus, that it has kindled a flame of curiousity, of wanting to get to know Him better, or maybe even starting your own journey with Him.

Another purpose for this, is yes, I've experience many dark times in my life. Maybe you are still in those dark rooms, and you haven't seen the light yet. I promise you, if you just stick in there and pray for God's guidance, that light will taste sweeter than you could ever imagine. It. Is. Worth. It. I love you guys so much. And so does God :)