living a lie | park jisung

continued

   Him and Donghyuck talked for the entire night. It probably wasn't the smartest idea since all the dreamies were supposed to go out the next day, but they didn't care.

When Donghyuck told him he was gay too Jisung was at a loss for words. He didn't even think about someone else being gay. He felt lucky, because this was really the best outcome. He doesn't feel alone anymore, so different from everyone else.

"Am I the first person you've told?" Donghyuck asks quietly. They had to make sure to be quiet to not wake anyone up. If anyone woke up and overheard their conversation, Jisung didn't know what's he do.

"Yeah, I just felt...ready." Jisung says. "Have you told anyone else?" he continues. "Only Mark hyung." Donghyuck answers.

"Did it go well? When you told him?"

"Yeah. He accepted it. It's just that when I first told him he was so shocked he said nothing. So I started crying because I thought him saying nothing meant something bad, but he started freaking out, telling me he's fine with it and it doesn't change anything between us." Donghyuck laughs at the memory. Jisung smiles hearing that, it was sweet, and he's glad it worked out for his friend.

"I tried to tell Jaemin hyung once, but I just couldn't do it." Jisung says with a frown, disappointed with himself.

"Hey, you weren't ready and that's okay. You told me and that's big Sungie, i'm proud of you." he says with a smile on his face.

"Thanks hyung."

   "When did you come out to Mark hyung?"

   Donghyuck paused for a moment to think.

   "Almost two years ago."

   Jisung's eyes widen in shock. "He's known for that long?!"

   Donghyuck grins before saying "Yep! And he's never told anyone. I was scared at first he'd out me to other members, but he didn't, he's a good person."

   Jisung smiles in agreement. Mark was a good person. He was one of the nicest people he's ever met.

   "Are you gonna come out to anyone else soon?" Donghyuck asks, noticing the panic that spreads across Jisung's face for a split second. Jisung looks down at his hands, laying on top of his crisscrossed legs.

   "I don't know about soon. I definitely wanna tell Chenle, Jaemin hyung, Jeno hyung, Renjun hyung, and Mark hyung. Probably the older members too, but I don't know."

   Donghyuck nods. "Yeah I would like to come out to the dream members and the older ones for sure. But there's constantly new members coming in, and even though i'd like if everyone in nct knew, that's just so many people to come out to. I don't know how they'll react." Donghyuck says, while biting his lip and playing with his fingers.

   Jisung understood what Donghyuck was saying perfectly. He feels happy, having someone to talk about all of this with. He hasn't had that till now.

   "And I haven't come out to anyone since Mark hyung. So I think I should try to come out to someone again."

   "But you came out to me?" Jisung pointed out, a confused look on his face.

   "Yeah, but I mean like coming out not knowing if they'll accept me. I did that with Mark hyung. And you did that with me, you didn't know if I would accept you or not but still told me. I knew you'd accept me because you kind of have to." Donghyuck said and they both laughed at the last thing he said.

   "Do you...understand what i'm trying to say?"

   "Yeah I think so." Jisung says. They both froze when they heard another door open in the hall. They both ran to the bed and jumped in. Donghyuck quickly pulled the cover over them before pulling Jisung close to him, he kept one eye open and looked at Jisung.

   Jisung had one eye open too and was holding in his laughs. "Shhhh." Jisung says with a finger over his mouth, his laughs escaping as he did this. "You shhh!" Donghyuck said in a hushed tone. They heard whoever was awake walking around, before going back to their room.

   "What time is it?" Donghyuck asks. Jisung picks up his phone from the bedside table. Jisung mouth hangs open at the time. They both started hanging out at around midnight, how could've 5 hours already passed?

"Five in the morning." Jisung says shocked. Donghyuck's eyes widen. "I wasn't even tired. But i'm kind of tired now since we're just laying here."

"Yeah same."

"I should probably go back to my own room." Donghyuck says, about to get out of the bed before a hand around his arm stops him.

"No hyung stay."

Donghyuck can't help the warm smile that spread across his face. Jisung never cared much for skinship, especially from Donghyuck. He feels like he's gotten closer with the younger from all of this.

"Okay Sungie." he says as he slips back under the covers and pulls Jisung towards him.