living a lie | park jisung

2 weeks later

   Jisung and Chenle haven't talked since what happened two weeks ago. Jisung was scared. He felt like Chenle was disgusted with him, because he took the kiss too far. Chenle trusted him enough to talk about his confusion on his sexuality. And he just lost control in the moment. He took advantage of the situation because of his feelings.

   Jisung's never felt so stressed out in his life. He needs his best friend, but he ruined it all.

   Jisung chooses to talk to Donghyuck about it, because he's the only one he can talk to. He waits till Donghyuck gets back from his vocal training and asks to talk to him privately.

   When they're alone he explains everything that happened.

"Jisung it seems like you kind of misunderstood the situation." Donghyuck said, not being able to suppress his laugh.

   "Why are you laughing?!" Jisung asked angrily.

   "Chenle isn't disgusted with you Jisung. He thinks you're disgusted with him, and probably is disgusted with himself." Donghyuck explains.

   "I don't get it. Why wouldn't he be disgusted with me."

   "Because you didn't do anything wrong."

   "What do you mean? I kissed him even though I had feelings for him. It made the kiss turn into something that it shouldn't of." Jisung said, which caused Donghyuck to sigh.

   "He didn't know that." Donghyuck replied.

   "I think he knew that when I had my fucking tongue down his throat." Jisung said annoyed.

   "He had his tongue down your throat first." Donghyuck pointed out, causing Jisung to blush.

"True."

Donghyuck let out a sigh and shook his head before he started speaking.

"Listen, Chenle asked you to kiss him. Which you did, but Chenle started to make it go further. It's expected that you would go further too, because you like him and because of the heat of the moment. And you said he looked horrified with you?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think that's true. I think he was horrified with himself. He was the one who pushed it farther and he knows that, so he is probably disgusted with himself. I don't know Chenle's exact feelings, but that's what i'm guessing he's feeling right now."

Donghyuck looked at Jisung, seeing him still not believing it. Trying to think it's still his fault.

"Remember how you used to feel? How if anyone found out you were gay, they would be disgusted with you. How you just worried about what could go wrong. Because you didn't accept yourself, you didn't want to be gay, you didn't want to develop crushes on your friends. But you've accepted yourself now."

"Mostly because of you, but I don't get what this has to do with anything."

"Yeah, because you had someone there for you. When you came out to me I could tell you were very scared, but it turned out good. When I came out to Mark, it didn't go well at first,"

Donghyuck chuckled at the memory.

"But that's because I misunderstood Mark. He was just surprised, not disgusted with me. So then it all turned out okay."

Jisung nodded along and then asked "But still what's your point?"

Donghyuck let out a groan of annoyance "Can you hold on i'm getting to it." he said which caused Jisung to laugh.

"Anyways, our first times coming out to someone went good. But Chenle hasn't really even figured out what his sexuality is. He talked to you about how he's confused. So yeah stuff got a little crazy, And he thinks he just fucked it all up with his best friend. He hasn't accepted himself yet, so I think this is all even more confusing for him now. He's in that stage that we both went through, and passed. He's confused Jisung ah, and he went to you and he misunderstood the situation. You both did, just like I did with Mark."

Donghyuck took a moment to think about what to say next.

"But, we talked it out. And you guys haven't, you both have misunderstood each other. And I know Chenle won't try to talk to you about it, because he's scared Jisung. Right now he feels alone, more than he ever has. He probably doesn't want to talk to anyone about his sexuality again, thinking it'll just go bad like how it did with you. So talk to him Jisung. Because you're not disgusted with him, you have to let him know that, and you guys are best friends. You both are just misunderstanding each other. "

"I'm gonna go talk to him right now." Jisung announces, while getting up and walking over to the door.

"Go get your man!" Donghyuck said excitedly. Jisung turned towards him, a blush across his entire face that had an expression of disbelief and shock.

"Don't say that!" Jisung whisper yelled while walking out and shutting the door.