A Story of a Sad Little Boy

chapter 14: regrets?!!??

So by reading the title of this chapter you may be wondering "wtf is wrong with them" So might I just say, while randomly doodling (fun fact! Doodle is the Australian slang for penis) plants in my sketchbook, I realized something great. Now I'm not calling myself amazing, in fact it doesn't take much to be a good person. If anything I'm a chaotic neutral. I haven't done anything really bad, I've done bad things and I have regrets. I have secrets and things that I hide deep down inside me. I haven't done anything really good either. Yes I've donated to charity and do community service. I do good things but nothing amazingly good. If this book shows anything about my personality and makes you feel anything, than you know I believe actions don't define who someone is. But back to the random stuff. I was drawing and realized, everyone deals with their own stuff. I have things that I hide from even the people I love most. So does everyone. No matter how good you know that person, there is always something you will never know about them. Maybe they hid it in there memory to try and forget. Maybe they just don't think that you shouldn't ever see that side of them. But everyone has a secret. Everyone has something going on with them. This is called enlightenment because just think, if you want to bother someone with your problems, just try to think of what's going on with them. They might be severely depressed and thinking of taking their lives, or they might be trying to be there and help 10 other people. No matter how hard I try I can't accept the fact that no matter what I do you can't save everyone. You might always be there for someone but they might have more than one scar on their wrist and you couldn't stop them. No matter how much you try you can't stop them from wanting to hurt themselves. No matter how much you try you can't see what's going on in their head. Sometimes I don't speak and just observe. Just by being aware of minor details, I am aware of things that people that are amazing do just because no matter how hard they tried they couldn't hide everything. If you just look, don't speak just look. You can find out so many things about a person. Sometimes people just tell you about everything and sometimes you have to use your last two brain cells. As a small anxiety filled bean, I know how it is to be having such a bad anxiety attack or panic attack that you want to die. I've figured out how to cope. I draw and paint. I write and read. I listen to music or watch my favorite YouTube video ( this one is one of my favorites)

yes I know not everyone wants to know about other people's lives. They rather keep to themselves and not deal with other people. But even if you don't talk to anyone and just stay silent. Take the time and make at least one friend. Yes, you will get hurt and make toxic friends and make mistakes but we're human. That's what we do best. The only thing in life we will ever truly master is making mistakes. We mess things up, we fuck with people for fun and do bad things. No one had never not do e something bad. You might not even be aware that you did something bad but you have. You can save everyone but no matter what you've done you've made a difference in someone's life. Like just by reading this you've made a difference in my life. Thanks. If you do drugs to numb the pain, try slowly stopping and try something else. I highly recommend drinking tea. Just in general. Tea is amazing and I know so many tea facts. Be creative. Take medications but only the prescribed amount. Don't worry so much no matter what you do just be yourself. Please take care of your mental health. Be careful. I may not know what I'm talking about half the time and may doubt everything I do and mess up and not take care of myself as much as I should. Please don't follow my example. This book is pretty much showing all the reasons why I am the way I am. Yes I'm leaving out a lot of things but hey, it's the internet. You don't know what could happen. I may not know but please just try your best. Thank you. Please be careful and keep in mind what other people are going through.

THANK YOU FOR READING. PLEASE SHARE, FOLLOW, AND VOTE. TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF. BYE PAL- GRIFF