A Story of a Sad Little Boy

Chapter 18: crumbling like toast

So like the title shows my life is currently best represented by a piece of toast or a shittily made cookie, it's crumbling and falling apart. Everything that I thought I knew and loved is changing to be something bad and unrecognizable. People are changing, feelings are changing, things are changing, my thoughts are changing. It's a fucking mess. People who you thought would always have you back are turning away and letting go. Now you may be reading this and being " Wow she's such a Taurus, so scared of change. What a pathetic little shit. " And to that I would respond " Shut up, nobody asked you so be gone that. " But you didn't say that. You haven't commented anything. Also you said she, which leads me to my next point ( sorry it's been 2 weeks I have a lot that happened since I had time to think). I'm getting so fucking of being misgendered. I recently learned my parents are transphobic, so that's fun. Over spring break I could gradually feel my dysphoria get so much worse. As this happens I just worry that maybe it's all just in my head and I'm faking everything, and those thoughts are keeping me from coming out. Also not to mention I have no clue what I am and I have crippling social and regular anxiety. But at least I realized over spring break that if I don't get a chest binder soon I might like explode of dysphoria. I also learned that I fucking hate being called my "dead name" And being called she/her. I keep dropping hints and nobody's even tried to not. On that note (changing the topic again, hell yeah) I'm suffering from what I like to call giving to many fucks. Like I'm getting just disappointed and tired from putting my all into a friendship and then they not even trying and ignoring me. Like EXCUSE ME I'M A SMALL ANGRY PERSON THAT NEEDS CONSTANT ATTENTION AND FEED BACK IN EVERYTHING I DO. maybe that's why I haven't dated anyone yet. But I try my hardest to keep trying to give my all, but every time I get left behind or ignored or forgotten, I get discouraged to keep trying my best. But here's were me giving too many fucks comes in. No matter how many times this happens but keep trying because I don't want people to think of me as a friendless loser. But at this point I give up. I'm so burnt out from doing this. Anyways you better things to do, so good bye till next time.

SUP FUCKERS! IM BACK. WELCOME TO MENTAL BREAKDOWN CORNER WERE EVERYONE YOU EVER TRUSTED HAS BETRAYED. I LOVE YOU ALL, YOUR ALL GREAT. TAKE YOUR MEDS AND DRINK WATER. BYE YOU HANDSOME PIECE OF GARBAGE.

hey me again. So nobody noticed really but I changed all my stuff. I changed the name to Griff to a name that I've been thinking about for awhile and I think is what I'm going by on the internet because why not. I'd you know me irl do not confront me about this. Please.