One Promise (Celestial Series #1)

Promise 5

This chapter is dedicated for all the moms out there. Thank you for the unconditional love you never fail to shower us. You're one of the priceless jewel that we wouldn't trade for anything. We love you, mom!

Of course, to my dearest mommy, I love you more!

#OnePromiseWp

Chapter 5

When someone asked, what is a mother? Google would have answered . . .

"The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth. The one who puts her kids before herself and the one who you can always count on above everyone else. Just telling her your problems makes you feel better because mom's always know how to make it all go away. Even if you fight, know that she's just looking out for your best interests."

But then, that was Google's answer. If someone were to ask, what is a mother to you, what would've been your answer, then?

Most of the time, we tend to ignore mothers the most. We always take them for granted believing that God wouldn't take them from us anytime soon. Our mothers are our lifesaver. Our mom is someone who we always rely on, she'll always be our safe haven. As a child, we are selfish by nature, we all know that. But in reality, mothers are not superheroes, they aren't immortal. They're also delicate like anybody and only God knows when it's the perfect time for Him to take our mothers away from us.

"Your mother is gone, Naomi."

Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.

"No, you've got to be kidding me." Umiling-iling ako, tila hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi. "Why the hell is Mommy gone? I was just gone for days lang! What the hell happened!"

Iniwas ni Auntie ang mata niya sa akin. Pinunasan niya ito.

"Naomi, pagkatapos kang ihatid ng mama mo, nahulog ang kotseng minamaneho niya sa isang bangin. It was too late nang matagpuan siya. Sabi nila, may pusa raw sa daanan kaya iniwasan niya. Others said she was distracted, kaya ganoon."

Yumuko si Auntie. "Ang daming haka-haka, Naomi. Nobody was around nang mabangga siya, so nobody knew what is the true story. She was able to wake up for a moment, until unti-unti na siyang binawian ng buhay." Naiyak na si Auntie.

Tumulo pa ang luha ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Agad nawalan ng pakiramdam ang aking mga binti. Napaluhod ako sa harap ni Auntie and I sobbed hard.

It was so painful! Gustong-gusto kong manakit ng iba para lang maibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Deep inside, gustong-gusto kong sisihin ang sarili ko. Kung hindi lang ako hinatid ni Mommy, hindi siya maaksidente! But then, alam kong hindi ko pa rin kayang paniwalaan iyon.

I badly wanted to inflict pain on others. I wanted empathy! I wanted to feel something! I felt so lost! I wanted to blame someone—anyone for this. But then I couldn't. 'Cause in the end, I was the one who's to blame.

I should've listen to Daddy. Ayaw niyang pumayag e. That was a sign. But then, ang tigas ng ulo ko. I insisted going to that camp and never imagined that it would cost my mother's life. Kung alam ko lang, e di sana, pinilit ko na lang siyang mag-drive kami. Then my little body could've done something to prevent that accident. Mommy wouldn't have died in that car crash, or better we could've died together. Hindi na ako maiiwan ditong mag-isa.

Daddy never loved me anyway. Bakit ko pa ipipilit ang sarili ko sa taong simula pa lang, never namang ipinaramdam sa akin na mahal niya ako?

Lumuhod na rin si Auntie. She hugged me tight. She cooed me with soft whispers of lullaby hoping it would ease the pain, but it couldn't.

I didn't think there was anything in this world that could ease the pain. It was just excruciating enough that it had overwhelmed my rationality.

Nothing. I felt nothing. It felt like I was trap in a blackhole and there was no way out but to kill myself.