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Strange

The wind blew me to my period app.

It was just one of those days where you are bored, dry phone and nothing to entertain so you just start travelling through the apps in your phone. Well, I was on a voyage and when the wind caught my sail, it blew me to my period app.

Before I could even start tapping on random posts in the free chat rooms, the storm kicked in entertainment.

Alex.

I really do not know what he gets from keeping me company because it sure is not sex, maybe food. Because he always comes to my place and starts eating or cooking. The cooking is a romantic gesture if he does it for me, only that he does it for himself. Is it not wonderful? To be relegated to the food zone of friendship. Not that I mind, I honestly do not have any feelings for him apart from the "oh, it's you again. The guy I see as a brother or something like that" feelings.

So it turns out that the cute guy Zippy had been talking about was him. The guy she says was my match made in heaven, definitely the heaven in her head. When she found out that he had been coming over and we had been communicating, she could not believe it. Well, as much as she cannot believe Alex and I are not having sex. I do not know how to take that, I actually feel offended and my patience with Zippy is running out because of the way she has been... forcing things on me like sex, men and parties.

"I hope you cooked for two," I said walking into the kitchen.

I was so hungry yet I had eaten three apple mangoes alone about thirty minutes ago. I knew that he did not, last time he was over he did and I knew better than to expect him to cook more again.

"I sure did," he said taking me who was about to make porridge by surprise.

Well, twice lucky. Whatever spirit of goodness that had taken over Alex better not leave his body.

"Why..." I start while we are in the living room.

"...are you being so nice?" I ask.

In my heart I am playing x and o's, hoping his language of love is not acts of kindness because I do not want to deal with anyone in love with me.

"I'm not being nice. I just realised that you are ever hungry and never have real food. You only eat junk or the occasional fruit. And you look like shit." He says

Well that's a relief. I'd rather be told I look like shit than be told how someone is in love with me. That was two weeks ago.

He has been coming over every single day and cooking for me and the only reason I know it has been two weeks is because this morning when he arrived I was looking at my period app when I remembered him coming over and cooking for me.

This was strange. My period ended on the fifth last month then came back a week later. Then on the fifth of this month it came back and when I was sure it ended and put on a new set of underwear, my uterus decided to create a tiny murder scene. Today morning , Japan's flag was there. Something was definitely wrong.

That's why I was in my period app, finally noticing how many times in the past few months I had logged a new period. How did I never notice?Then I made the worst decision by running to the sometimes most unreliable doctor only to realise my death was looming near.

Google.

Google told me that I died from cancer, fibroids, pelvic inflammatory disorder and many other reproductive health causes. Not just because of the bleeding, but all the symptoms I had been feeling so far. How sick I had been feeling and blaming it on the junk food I had been eating all along. How I felt dizzy at the club with Zippys friends.
God, maybe I had been sick all along yet we blamed them for trying to spike my drink!

I do not know if anyone does this because I definitely have never. Have you ever thought about your death? Like what would you do if you died or heard you were going to die? Yes if you die you will not be there, but still. I began thinking about my death. I was too young to die and I had so much I wanted to do.

My mind was so far away with all this thinking about death stress that I did not hear my name being called by Alex until he shook me to my senses.

"I feel sick," I said to him suddenly feeling all the symptoms I read about plague me one after the other. A part of me was saying it's okay and all I am feeling was psychological, but I was too deep in self diagnosed depression to reason anything out.

Here I was, one minute thinking I have my whole boring life and the next minute seeing it drain in front of my very own eyes.

"I need to go to the hospital," I say to Alex.

"Who is sick?" Zippy asks coming into the kitchen looking between Alex and I then the food Alex made in shock.

"Are you guys seeing each other?" She asks and seems annoyed as though I have been hiding a relationship from her.

"No," we both reply forgetting that I was sick

"Hmm. I don't believe you. But you haven't mentioned that guy or referenced him for a while now so I guess... anyway, I was sick and tired of hearing about him." She says digging into my plate and earning a puzzled look from Alex.

Alex did not know about Chris.

I always share my food with Zippy without a problem, but for some strange reason I felt something boil inside me when she started eating my food.

"So, Alex." She starts

"How do you know my name?" Alex asks and I walk out saying I am not hungry when in reality I really am. Hungry and some type of super angry.

Was I not dying after reading Google diagnoses a while ago? Because I am suddenly only sick with anger and hunger.

So I go to my room and reach out for my snacks only to feel repulsed, most probably because of my association of cancer with junk food. I then get in my bed and try to shut my eyes only for Zippy to come in.

"You know, I find it funny how you are suddenly so secretive...and Alex said bye," with that she leaves and I head over to sleep ignoring the urge to fight her on the negative tone in her voice.

.....

I hope you are feeling better, I am up for the hospital trip if you decide to go.

That was Alex's text in the morning when I was leaving the house.

I woke up feeling sick. A dull headache, tiredness, abdominal cramps and malaise. It's like they say, what you don't know won't hurt you. Before I Google diagnosed myself I was not feeling like I would die, but now I woke up quite sick. On top of that, I had two CATs to sit for today. I had to go to school.

Normally, I would walk or take a public van but today I hailed a cab. I just felt too bad to use all that effort to get to school.

The cab ride was even more sickening. I do not know if it was the road or vehicle model because I could literally feel what the shock absorbers were supposed to absorb and it only made me worse. Walking to class was a hassle. It felt like ten years and just as I got to the door, everything became so bright.

I do not know what happened, all I know is that one minute I was heading for the door and the next minute I was staring at a bright light. It was like one of those video editing transitions where someone is walking to a door and suddenly they are outside.

Alex was beside me with a stoic expression on his face.

"Did you have breakfast?" he asked, to which I shook my head.

We were in the Sanatorium and it turns out that I had fainted then fell in and out of consciousness in the past hour due to stress. Weird.

"You wanted to go to the hospital,let's go." He said.

So we went. I told him what I had been feeling and what Google said as we drove to the hospital and I could tell that he wanted to lecture me on our way to the hospital by the way his facial expression changed at me mentioning Google, or maybe it was the Pelvic inflammatory disease part. Because it is a result of sexual infections... which paints me as careless.