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T IS FOR TIME

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Alex wanted me to move in with him. He was the first one to know, the first one I told when I handed him the envelope. Zippy would have been the first to know, but as I cried over the phone to her she was cold and hung up on me.

I won't get the chance to tell him bye as I leave for my grandmothers place. I hope I get to see him in the future.

My grandmother.

I really do not know much about her. I've never been interested, coming to the village has always been a routine. Its an unspoken rule that on 'this month' we go to her place. So I always came, stayed in my own corner on my phone or books or just somewhere away from the rest because we really could not relate. But now, in this stuffy room and facing what family really is, I know we just could not relate the meaning of the word family.

My grandmother and I on my arrival looked at each other like strangers, there was no bond. It felt like a job. My job to be her grandchild and her job to be my grandmother, no bad blood. Jobs we clearly both knew not how to do.

The network connectivity was poor, but it was better than being in a remote area. The shops were however far away but the walking exercise was good, save for the part where all roads were dusty and stoney.

I've watched many movies. I've heard many stories from my peers. Movies where children were punished by being sent to live with grandparents they never knew and ended up developing a bond. Stories about how my peers grandparents are fun and all. Well, its been two months and still nothing. No bond. We are like strangers working in the same office, minding our own business. Just sharing meals and living under the same roof and attending the same church.

The church. The priest and his wife say they are happy to have two new members. They want my baby to be baptized here. They even talk about marriage, to save my face. I am polite enough to be a hypocrite and smile at all their suggestions.

This church. Hot, dusty and suffocating as it is with uncomfortable benches. Not a single backrest, plain benches which are pushed a meter from the walls so leaning on the wall would be out of topic. This church where they force the handshakes. This church whose members have the roughest hands and rougher stares. The chiefs office messenger who has been widowed for three years and childless as my suggested marriage partner.

My grandmother for the sake of sharing blood did not even stand up for me, if anything she left. Walked out of church as soon as the priest and wife started talking to me. She has never waited for me, but I felt hurt today. I know she heard what was said because the words came out faster than the three pretend steps she struggled to make walking away before quickening her pace. I just felt like she should have saved me or something today. All other Sundays conversations were bearable, but not this one.

Feeling hot not from the heat but anger, I leave the church with a pretend face of happiness. Psychological pretend states take a whole lot of energy. This is the eighth time and I cannot believe that I still need to pretend further. My grandmother always leaves me in church, but never makes it to the house before me. I always stand every few steps so that I can let her get home before me for her own prides sake. I bet she would be embarrassed if I walked passed her yet she left before me.

She turns and ushers me with her hand to hurry up. I'm surprised, so I try to walk as fast as my new weight will let me.

"Kiss up to the priest and his wife. They are the only ones with a car, if the baby comes at night you'll need them." She says and keeps walking.

No way was I, but I did not have the luxury of choice. She was right for a moment there.

After church I pulled out my laptop, bought data and created a hot spot. Today I had the patience with slow network because I wanted to upload the articles I had been working on to my blog.

My notification bell had a red dot. I thought It was just the usual network glitches until I saw from the drop down menu a few notifications.

"Your data bundle is depleted..."Came a notification on my phone just as I clicked the notifications and met a connection problem message on my screen.

I hate it here.

I bought more airtime and decided to use my phone instead of my PC.

As I waited for the internet connection, I found myself thinking about how I was going to navigate through life with a baby and nobody on my side. Short on money, not a single baby's item. Nothing. Not even a source of income. I wondered how my degree was going to help me when I remembered the knits I had made, but where would I sell them?

Instagram maybe. Worth the shot right?Even though I did not know how to deliver them and neither did I know if people would make a purchase. So I turn off my data and go to my room to get the knits for a photo shoot.

Who knew taking photos and uploading them to Instagram would be an extreme sport?

I fall asleep and wake up to my phone vibrating. There were so many notifications, courtesy of me leaving my data on. A new message on Instagram, another on my blog, my pregnancy calculator saying we are in the 27th week and likes on my posts. I open the message.

"Hey, you just left. Where did you go?'' A direct message from Alex.

So I tell him everything.

"Can I come see you guys?" He asks talking about baby and I.

I think about it before sending a yes then we start talking about my knitting.

My alarm goes off to mean its time for my walk. I tell Alex bye and head out for my usual walk.

4 pm is the best time for a walk because the sun is the kindest then. Today I am happier and my baby feels happy too. For the eight weeks I have been here, this is my best day so far. I stand at my favorite spot, where I can watch the grass in a field dance around as I face the setting sun. Eyes closed.

The tinkling of metal made me open my eyes, because that tinkling was accompanied by a shadow in front of me.A wooden cart with all sorts of things was before me and the trader was trying to get me to make a purchase. I wanted to wave him off until I saw something that looked nice.

"Madam hio ni 50 bob" He said noticing me look at the cloth.

I gave him 50 shillings and pulled the cloth out before he charged me higher since the dress I just found was more than the mentioned price. I wait for him to move so that I can continue with my view but the sun already dipped behind the trees.

I walk back to my grandmothers place. Happier today since none of the usual nosy villagers were outside during my walk, then I remember the message from my blog.

AUTHORS NOTE

Hellooooooooooo! Updateeee. I suddenly feel like making this book longer, I'm not sure though. I hope you've loved this part.

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