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Answerphone

I hate that I have to find out certain things on my own when someone somewhere could have just given me a heads up.

Like how Chris is not picking up my calls anymore. If he just wanted to have sex and disappear from the face of earth he should have said so. Because look at me now, I'm here overthinking about how he's probably fighting for his life somewhere or got kidnapped...but everyone tells me that he just wanted to have sex with me and run. Do you agree with everyone else?

My heart is literally breaking now.

I've stalked him on social media, tried getting information but I can't find anything. It's a dead end. He won't accept my fake Facebook profiles friend requests and he also is not updating anything on his other social media platforms.

I've even developed some type of anxiety and obsessive behaviour. Whenever I get uncomfortable I just start writing or knitting and eating a lot. It's calming and I don't see any problem with my coping mechanisms apart from the eating a lot. My clothes are getting small because I'm getting...big.

I'd like to think that my creative side started kicking in after all leading traces of Chris got wiped off the surface of planet earth. It's like, Bryson Tiller and how his songs are so good after his feelings get hurt. Or is he just creative with or without hurt?

I'm an arts major student, so there is a lot of creative stuff we do. I got disowned by my dad because in Africa we only go to school to become doctors, lawyers or teachers. Allegedly.

Allegedly!

So you can only see how it went down when I decided to do the unheard of. For crying out loud, it is 2018. So tell me why my dad still believes in only three professions! He's not the only one, relatives support him too. Every time he brought up this topic when I was about to join university, he'd say something like this:

"I'm not the only one who knows that being a doctor, lawyer or pilot(some days he'd say teacher) is the way to go...even if you look at me like I'm crazy..."

And in my head I'd go all Sam Smith like, "You say I'm crazy...I know I'm not the only one."

Gosh, I'm a psycho. Let me call Chris one more time

This is probably why Chris left...

Yes! He finally picked.

"the person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a voicemail after the..."

...me on voicemail.