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Chris is tall, flattering tall. The kind of tall that shelters a girl from days when Mr. Sun is so harsh. The kind of tall that captures a girls best side in a picture. The kind of tall that makes you get the real definition of a hug.

I missed that, but do you know what I miss more? My sanity. I just cannot wait for my periods to be over so that I can think straight and make clear concise decisions. I say so because me after the Crimson moon has passed definitely does not obsess over Chris.

Zzzz. Zzzz.
Who could that possibly be and what could they, he, she or it want? I decide to ignore the call but it keeps ringing.

"Why. Why the persistence?I am not 911!" I say picking up the phone

"Do you not have class?" Comes Zippys voice.

"None,they got cancelled and if I ever decide to skip a class I have an excuse. That I'm having an abortion." I said to her.

"What have you been watching... you know what, bye," she replies and I hear that du du du sound indicating that the line is dead.

I was watching grown.ish when I came across the abortion excuse. Do college students really say that? Because I would honestly do that if there was no anti-arbortion law thing in Kenya.

Meanwhile I'll just pop a sleeping pill to prevent me from calling or texting Chris.

I do not in any way recommend sleeping pills so please do not start. I take them because sometimes reality gets too hard and painful for me so I try and escape through sleeping. However, the sleep does not come immediately so I hasten things up.

The aftermath of a failed love can do things to you.

...

You do not want to know when I woke up to a very angry stomach. It must have been seven when I woke up to take a shower because periods make you sweaty and no girl has any business walking around in last night's blood. I took breakfast, found myself watching hallmark movies on YouTube, felt a tiny cramp and thought I'd die which escalated to thoughts of how I am going to die now that there is no Chris and consequently, the sleeping pills.

Well now it's 9.45 pm and that was one mighty sleeping pill.

Fast forward to me in the kitchen who cannot cook but has an idea about how cooking goes. I'm the type of person who even when we are running out of salt, the food ends up salty. I know, crazy.

Well, the fridge is empty and so are the drawers, just like my heart. By empty I mean there are items that look like food, but none of them is what I want. Have you ever had such a moment? Rich people problems, I hear. I, however am not rich.

This is not my house, I just happen to be here alone. It's my mum's, she works in Uganda. All my siblings decided to study far from home and my dad...

That man? He's a deadbeat. People like telling me that at the end of the day he is my dad and I just have to accept him because if it were not for him I would not be alive. Well thank you very much Judge Judy, as if I do not know that already. But you are wrong, if I was meant to be alive I'd be with or without his presence. I'd have been born through another man. So I hate it when people chastise dead beat parents and see the people on the receiving end as a problem. Like how twisted is that? Enabling someone's malice- for lack of a better word,malice makes the cut- saying things like there must be an explanation for... Are we in Telemundo? Are you a Forensic Scientist or something? Just stop it with the slave mentality or simply keep your unwarranted opinions to yourself.

Anyway, that's another days topic. Like judgement day, he can take it up with God.

Back to the empty drawers at empty fridge and empty stomach scenario, I really am hungry, but I most certainly cannot eat anything in there, maybe drink juice and eat fruits. So I take a large bowl pour in so much cornflakes, raisins, sugar and milk. I guess we can call this supper. Very unhealthy supper.

"My legs are killing me!" Comes an all too familiar voice from the kitchen. I am in the dinning room now.

"Oh,a change. I thought I'd find you in bed as usual and why are you eating cereal at ten in the night?" That's definitely Zippy speaking to my back.

"Good thing I came with back up. I knew you were not eating anything healthy." She says and I hear the shuffle of bags.

"Still hot," she says placing two tins infront of me.

I'm pretty sure that in one of my past lives Zippy was my mum. Or we were in a relationship, her the dutiful wife and me the loving husband.

"Why are you always cooking for me? Need a boyfriend?" I ask jokingly

"No, I need my best friend to be serious with her life." She says eating what she packed for herself.

At that very moment, I wished both of us were lesbians in love with each other because women are perfect the way we are and we do not need men. I mean, where are the men who will treat you as good as your fellow female best friend?No man will treat me better than Zippy does.

"What are you looking at?I carried my food here too, I haven't eaten." She says with a mouth full of food.

You see why we don't need men?
Now, try convincing my heart.