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S IS FOR SNAKE AND SOCIETY

Your own words and thoughts from another's mouth sound so explicit. Real, dangerous. Inhumane. That's why therapists restate your very own words, so that you can know if you mean what you say. One of the many ways to see the man in the mirror is through the eyes of another, or in this case the voice of another.

My mother as earlier stated, lives elsewhere. My elder sister went to stay with her. I wanted to be me and do things my way. I stayed behind. I would not let our mother live vicariously through me. These two were the important women in  my life, Zippy being the third and removed I guess.

Today, all three of them are in the house.

I called Zippy over because I needed someone to talk to, preferably of the female species. My mother and sister arrived without a notice.

Zippy and Alex were the only ones I wanted to tell about this. My mother and sister would know of it way later, years later. But now, I had no choice. It would not be bad, I have everything under control. Everything was in place and would be over in a week.

"I'm pregnant and..."

"Terminate it," my mother interrupted me.

I was going to tell them that I had a doctors appointment already and money for an abortion...

"You better have an abortion" my sister added 

…that I did not plan on keeping the child.

"I support your family,' Zippy added

None of them asked who the father is, how long I was and how mother or child were doing. Nobody bothered to ask about what I planned on doing.

They voiced out my thoughts which sounded perfectly fine until I heard them out loud through another's voice. They wanted me to kill my own child. To stop this baby growing inside me from living. To end the life of my now most important person in the world. They wanted me to do what I wanted to do no more.

"I'm keeping the baby," I said earning the eye from three pairs of eyes in the room.

"No, and this is not the time to be stubborn. I am booking an appointment for you right now." My mother said picking up her phone.

"And I won't go. You can't force me to." I said.

"How do you think society will view you? How will people at school view you? Who will respect you an unmarried pregnant woman? How will you continue with school while pregnant? Everyone will see that you were busy having sex when you shouldn't have!" My elder sister said.

So I asked myself, are abortions supposed to be based on society's opinions or on my own objective and uninfluenced decision? Will I be able to live with myself if I have an abortion because of peoples opinions? The answer was no. I am the only one carrying this child and I will be the only one pushing this child out or having a scar on my abdomen for this child. The only one who will be having painful contractions is me.

Someone once asked, "When you're having sex and you orgasm, will society receive that orgasm too?' So don't let society influence your decisions.

"I do not care what the general public will say or do. The child is mine, body mine and decision mine." I said standing up as Zippy stormed out with hatred and cousins in her eyes. Removed she is.

In the African society, do you know what happens to young pregnant and unmarried girls? They get sent away, at least most of them do. To their grandmothers or aunties if any. Others are married off to very very old men if not kicked out in the cold like the neighbor's rabid cat trespassing into the house next door.

"People already have bad things to say about me. They always have. That I am the reason my marriage failed, that your dad deserves better and that my daughters will be single mothers too. And now one part of all that is true. Pack your bags, you'll be staying with your grandmother." My mother said.

"You had to shame our family didn't you?' My elder sister said walking past me.

I went out after Zippy, hoping she had not gone so far because I could not move so fast with baby on board.

"So, you waited all this time to tell me? I was waiting for you to tell me long time ago. And being the fake friend you were, never trusted me! Same way you've been with Alex and pretended not to know him when Id talk about him at school! You knew I liked him, but you had to steal his attention just like you did with Chris!" She shouted.

"First of all, I get the impression that you knew the condoms were punctured. Secondly, you hated Chris so what is all this? And third, you wanted Alex and I to be a thing" I inquired as calmly as my boiling blood could let me.

"Yes, I punctured them so what? I hated Chris for seeing your boring little self and not me and all the dead people know I hated how much you talked about him. I punctured those condoms to give you both a taste of your own medicine. And about Alex, I was interested in him and wanted to get to him through you since you're classmates. You weren't interested in him then, but now I see things changed. What was meant for Chris became another's and I never even tried." She said looking at my belly venomously.

I do not know what us pregnant women think will help by placing our hands protectively over our bumps, because that's exactly what I did at Zippys venomous stare and her threatening step towards us.

"Get out." My sister said walking between us, "and never come back." She added in a dangerous tone.

I laughed, I actually laughed because I remembered the Lion King when Kovu got banished.

And also at the fact that she could not tell who my child's father is.

Hormones, pregnancy hormones are crazy.

AUTHORS NOTE

Happy new year everyone. Go subscribe to my Youtube channel(ITSME ANYANGO) because a girl is trying to get monetized! Link in my bio,lets get to 500 subs real quick please.

What's up people! Its me Anyango, finally writing an authors note.

Did anyone see this coming?

How many could bet that Chris was the baby daddy? And how many would bet on Alex? I hate Zippy, I loved her when I started writing this book but that was before I got to know her better!!!!

This whole chapter is like the 8th or 10th draft. I settled on this out of many mainly because my YouTube was playing random songs in the background and everything just seemed to flow.

From now on Wednesdays are my author dates so expect consistency.
Fun fact: I wrote and completed this book in 2017 but I'm having attachment issues with it so I find excuses not to update then I keep making several drafts of each chapter but I seem to have found a solution that will be mentioned later on so stay tuned. I hope you've loved this chapter as much as I did. The song is heal me by Grace Carter.

Tell me your thoughts on abortion, everyone but religious fanatics are allowed to comment, I don't want to deal with religious scripts and what not, have those religious debates with your church officials okay? Okay.

Are you mad at me? Vote. Are you feeling nice about me? Vote. Are you feeling nothing? You too vote, ain't no exceptions here.

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You should've told me
You didn't want me

_Grace Carter in Silhouette

I'ma call my mother
It's been a while since I've been home
_Sasha Sloan in Smiling when I die