Never giving up on you - Completed.

50.

Austin

My thoughts were at drift and I couldn't stop them. They had been running from me ever since Caity came back with a positive pregnancy test and told me I was going to be a dad again. Holy shit. We were having another baby. Hailey was going to be a big sister... Another baby. Was I happy? I don't know. I was scared like hell, that's for sure. Worst timing ever. I mean, what father could I be in this condition?

I pulled off my headphones and stared at the ceiling, my music faintly playing in the background now. It was way past midnight already and I was still wide awake. My legs were feeling uneasy and restless and after another while of twisting and turning in bed I decided to get out and go for a walk. I took my cane an softly opened the door of my room, looking down the hallway. It was deserted and I quietly hobbled to the lifts at the end.

'Austin, what are you doing out of bed?,' the night nurse asked. I sighed and turned around, managing a smile to her.

'Shit, you caught me,' I muttered. She smiled too, walking up to me.

'Why are you still awake?' I shrugged.

'Too much to think about, Chantelle,' I told her. She cocked her head a bit.

'You want some tea? Need some talking?' I shook my head. I didn't feel like talking. Talking would make it all to real and I just wasn't ready yet.

'No, thanks. I'm just gonna walk for a bit.'

'You sure? Do you have enough strength in your legs?,' she wondered, looking at me. I sighed softly.

'Yes... I won't be far.'

'Alright, at your own risk,' Chantelle just said.

'I wouldn't be alive if I wasn't taking risks.' She frowned and rolled her eyes; she knew exactly what was up with me and my situation. Out of all the nurses on the ward she was one of those I had a real connection with.

'If you're not back in half an hour I'll come looking for you,' she called after me while I got into the elevator. I laughed a little.

'Spare yourself the trouble!,' I said loudly and I watched her shake her head while the doors closed. I didn't know where I wanted to go so I just wandered around for a while until I came across a room that was lit by one soft light. It looked serene and calm and I walked in, sitting down on one of the wooden chairs while my eyes fell on a small cross with Jesus hanging on the wall. I sighed deeply and stared at it.

'Somehow you always know how to drag me back to you, don't you?,' I muttered at the tiny wooden Jesus. I hadn't even known this was the chapel of the hospital and somehow my stroll through the silent, dark building had taken me here. 'While I'm here... You might as well tell me why all this is happening right now. I mean...' I huffed and leaned my elbows on my knees, letting my fingers run through my hair and over my face. 'Why do you have to test me like this, God? Haven't I been through enough already?' It stayed silent for a while and I closed my eyes, almost begging for my thoughts to shut up.

Caity and I had been over the whole shock of finding out she was pregnant. She had stayed with me for a long while, while Lillian had taken Hailey back home to go trick or treating with Alan. She had texted Caity a photo of the three of them, Hailey still in her Elsa dress and grinning widely on Alan's arm, who was wearing a tiara.

'What's he supposed to be?,' I had asked Caity.

'A ginger princess, what else?,' she chuckled. Obviously. Ginger Princess had been Alan's nickname ever since he had joined the band back in 2011, named by our fans.

After that both Caity and I had fallen silent again, trailing back to our previous conversation about the baby. She had no idea how far along she was, but she thought maybe around five weeks.