Never giving up on you - Completed.

57.

Caity

As the days passed, Austin and I were still on cloud nine about actually being married. And not only us, but also our friends and almost the entire fanbase was happy for us. Instagram had exploded after Austin had shared a few photos of our ceremony and I had changed my username into caitycarlile. Sometimes, on those empty moments of the day where we both had nothing to do, we would scroll down Instagram and laugh about how hyped people actually were for us. It was cute how supportive people were, even though they didn't know us.

Life was good, despite him having some really bad days lately, where the pain in his back was back but worse, and his legs were restless and cramping up all day and all night long. Still, he tried to get out of bed and maintain a normal rhythm throughout the day, and we had enjoyed endless days on the beach with our families and Hailey, or just the two of us when she was at school.

As predicted Hailey was inconsolable when Alan left, two days after the wedding. Luckily Lillian and my parents stayed another few days before heading back, and that made the whole situation a bit better on her. But none of us was Alan, and Alan was everything.

Tonight Hailey had been good and had fallen asleep without a fuss after she had spent an entire night playing piano with Austin. They started with just random songs and Hailey loved their short jam sessions, but after I had put her to bed my heart stopped for a moment when I heard Austin play the piano intro and bridge of Second&Sebring. I hand't heard that song for a long while, neither had Austin because it held too many memories and feelings.

It surprised me he was playing it now, slowly and softly, like he was trying it out for the first time again. He was a bit emotional after that and I was scared that it would affect his sleep, but even Austin had fallen asleep for longer than an hour for the first time in three days. I on the other hand couldn't fall asleep. It was hot and I was uneasy, and so was the baby. It was kicking it's way through my belly, trampolining on my bladder and keeping me awake. And as if those movements inside of me weren't enough to drive me crazy from lack of sleep, Austin was twitching and cramping up again, despite me massaging his legs and back before we went to sleep. Most of the time that would help a bit, but in the last few days the pain in his back had gotten even worse and he couldn't stop cramping up even if he wanted to.

I got out of bed to go pee for the third time in a few hours, and I took a glass of water with me when I got back. As I sat down on the edge the baby kicked again, hard this time, and I let out a muffled 'ouch!' as I placed my hand against the spot on my belly where it had kicked.

'Why are you so awake?,' I muttered quietly against my belly. 'Go to sleep and let me sleep too, please...' Instead of falling quiet, the baby kicked again and I chuckled softly, shaking my head. 'Thanks...' A soft gush of wind blew up the curtains a bit and I looked outside; the noise of the jungle around the house and the waves crashing in the beach in the distance somehow always calmed me. I looked over my shoulder to Austin when he whimpered a bit and his entire body tensed up. It made me uneasy to even look at him when that happened; it looked so painful and I was only glad that he was asleep and probably not feeling it.

The curtains blew up again and I looked outside, getting up with my glass of water and walking out through the doors leading to the deck. I sighed and leaned my arms on the balustrade, sipping from my water and enjoying the nightly sounds of Costa Rica while overthinking everything.

When we were back on our own after the wedding, I was getting a bit anxious about flying back to the States before my due date, which was now in six weeks. It wasn't only that I wanted the baby to be born in the U.S. because it was our homeland and I wanted it to be the baby's too, but there was also a medical reason; because Austin had Marfan and he was the father, his medical team had advised us to have the baby in Stanford, so that they could check it's health and the possible chance of the baby having Marfan too. Austin was so nervous about that; he often told me he would feel guilty for the rest of his life if the baby turned out ot have Marfan too. It was something I couldn't talk out of his mind, no matter how often I told him it wasn't as big of a deal to me as he thought.