Chapter 3: Feelings

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The next couple of days my nightmares aren't as bad when Peeta is sleeping next to me, although I'm always never that lucky for too long and there's always a terribly bad one that makes me not go back to sleep afterwards, no matter how much Peeta tries to coax me back to sleep, those nights are always the darkest and I stay in bed all day to try and deal with the thought of the nightmare. The more Peeta sleeps next to me the stronger I'm grown to him, I feel a tug inside me that pulls me towards him but there's still a small part of me that's too afraid to admit to him what I'm feeling, the world is different, I know that but the fear of loving him terrifies me, so many people that I've loved get hurt or leave me, Prim, my dad, my mother, Gale... that's just the beginning and only a couple of months ago I thought I had lost Peeta forever, I don't know if I could do that again.

Peetas bakery is up and running in a couple more weeks, he gets many customers everyday and he hires people who don't earn much and have to provide for their family, Rory being one of the first to be working with him. Paylor stopped giving him his Victor earnings after he requested to and since the bakery has been open I can see the old Peeta coming out and it makes me smile seeing how happy he is.

"Look at you!" I chuckle, Rory standing serving a customer, he extends his arms to show off his apron

"I know, I look great" he grins, I roll my eyes at him

"Where's Peeta?" I ask, Rory smirks at me but I just scowl at him

"He's in the back stocking up on baked foods. I can get him for you" I stop him from leaving the front counter

"No, don't want to stop him from working. I'll just take three cheesebuns" I reply, after he gives me the paper bag, I pay and leave the bakery. I sit on the grass as I look into the lake and eat the delicious cheesebuns, it's nice like this, I'm glad that people in the district are too scared to come in here because I love being at this place alone, the forest is the one place that I have that reminds me of how times with my dad were, the place where I saw how carefree he was.

My dad was a great man and very popular in the Seam, he always kept smiles on people's faces and secretly gave the meat he caught to the starving families, I always thought he was too risky for his own good but when I saw how everyone loved and respected him, I wanted to follow in his footsteps. That's how the whole hunting with him started, he taught me all I needed to know and how to shoot a bow and arrow, where to aim when shooting for your target. His death came as a disaster in the Seam and everyone grieved with Prim, my mother and I, that's when I started to suppress my true feelings, I had to be strong for everyone and I had to provide for my family.

Things would be much different if my dad were still here, dealing with all that's happened may have been easier with him around, I could ask him about Peeta and the things I feel when he's around. I groan and lay back on the soft grass as I eat the second bun

"What are you doing, Katniss?" I say to myself, I think back to when I talked to Haymitch when the new rules of the Quarter Quell announced, what Haymitch said to me when I came to him. I immediately stand up and walk back to the district, he's been my mentor for so long and maybe he could give me some peace and help me sort out whatever I'm feeling towards Peeta. Walking through the door of his house I find it easier due to Hazelles cleaning, I find him sitting in his usual chair drinking from a usual bottle of liquor

"What do you want, sweetheart" he grumbles

"I need you to be my mentor. I need advice" I say sitting near him

"What might that be?" He asks taking a sip

"It's about Peeta. I feel weird about him, I mean when he's around me I feel weird and I don't know what's going on" I explain and he huffs

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