The Book of Literary H'Enjoyment.

Y is for You Don't Have To Be Scared.

"You come into my room and wake me up at 3:40am, to cuddle?"

Amanda had no reply for Joshua's question, so she just stood there, at the foot of his bed, her eyes alternating between her fingers and the ground.

Joshua sat up groggily and wiped his eyes.

"You're lucky I'm a nice flat mate. C'mon." He said, arms wide open, a tired smile accompanying it.

"Are you sure I'm not being too annoying?" Amanda asked, now rubbing her head against his chest.

"Not really, besides, I did feel a bit lonely before I slept off earlier."

"I dreamt of him again." Amanda started, her voice wavering a bit.

"Him? Again?" He said, careful not to mention the man's name, he had caused her too much pain and Joshua couldn't bear to see her face contort in fear and pain at the mention of the devil's name.

She nodded, and Joshua observed how her hold on his waist tightened.

"Hey, you don't have to be scared, okay? I'm right here to protect you, and he can never ever hurt you again, okay?" Joshua told her, arms wrapped around her gently and a kiss placed on her forehead in between each sentence.

Amanda couldn't help the tears that rolled down her face, as hard as she tried to forget and even erase the memories of the horrible things he did to her, she couldn't, and on some nights these memories would craft themselves into dreams and play out in her state of unconsciousness.

On her very worst days, she felt as though it was her fault.

Maybe if she kept to herself a bit more, maybe if she wasn't such a scared child back then, maybe if she spoke up sooner, maybe if she wore a trouser instead of a night dress, maybe just maybe her stepfather wouldn't have raped her, and multiple times at that.

"I've told you to stop saying that Mandy. It's not your fault, it never was." Joshua said sternly but his body language held a different tone, he continued kissing her forehead and rubbing up and down her back.

Amanda wasn't even aware that she was thinking out loud, and poured out her dark thoughts absentmindedly.

"Am I ever going to get better? Or even move on from such a horrible memory?" Amanda asked Joshua.

"Yes you will, and you are allowed to take all the time you want sweetie, everyone heals at their own pace."

"But why is my healing so slow? It's been over ten years since then, and he's in prison but why do I still feel so scared, like he's going to open my door, and — and cover my mouth with his palm and take off —." Amanda burst into full tears now, reliving the memories.

The young woman could feel a physical pain in her heart as she remembered it, she wondered if she was ever going to heal and move on from it.

"I'm here now, okay? I'm right here for you Mandy, you're going to get better, I know it. Your past doesn't define who you are. Please stop thinking it's your fault." Joshua whispered softly by her hair.

The woman's body stopped shaking from fear and relaxed now, her breathing calm and in sync with his.

"Thank you Joshua, for always listening to me and trying your best to make me feel better." Amanda said, sleep claiming her gently.

Joshua noticed and softly laid her down, pulling up the duvet to her chest.

His hands gently caressed her soft face and played with her hair, while he sang a lullaby to help her relax even more.

"I love you Josh." Amanda said in her usual way, she always told people that she cherished that she loved them on a daily basis, and her flat mate was one of them.

Although they just met less than a year ago, Joshua had become a very important figure in Amanda's life.

She would never admit it, but Joshua was practically her rock.

Joshua smiled deeply, she was already asleep.

She knocked right out after telling him that she loved him.

"I love you too." He said and placed a kiss on her forehead.

The young man pulled her body closer till her head laid against his chest and she let out almost silent snores.

"Much more than you know." He whispered lovingly and then placed a lingering kiss on her cheek.

Soon he fell back into a peaceful sleep, their breathing in sync as well as their heartbeats.

All that could be heard in the room was the slow ticking of the wall clock, and the soft snores of two young adults who were unknowingly in love with one another.