He Saved Me

Chp 40

Michael's POV
     "Sweetheart... look.. I-I really wanted to be a father. Especially at that point in my life. I was about to enter my 40's soon, and I desperately wanted a family. I thought I was going to have that with Lisa Marie, but things didn't work out that way. Debbie was generous enough, and God bless her heart, to give me the gift of being a father," I explained. "We had an arrangement where we both were happy with it," I said. Paris sniffled, with hurt written all over her face.
     "Why did Debbie say you guys were in love then?" she asked.
     "I think she just wanted you think of us as a happy family. And we were. But motherhood wasn't exactly something she was interested in to be honest. She did her part and blessed me with you and Prince. And I will forever be grateful to her," I said gently.
     "And here I was stupid enough to think that she was the love of your life," she said looking down.
     "No babygirl, unfortunately she wasn't. But I have experienced it before. And let me tell you something, it was nothing compared to the joy and love I feel being a father. You 4 are my life, my everything. It's you 4 that teach me something new everyday about myself. Fatherhood saved me... I am a better man because of my babies," I said tearing up. Paris snuggled back into me as she sniffled.
     "Well who did you bring here last night then?" she asked again. I was trying to avoid answering that, but I guess I can't anymore.
     "Do you really want to know?" I asked. She nodded her head yes.
     "It was Lisa Marie... but before you get any ideas, no I'm not marrying her," I said defensively.
     "Really? After all these years... you still love her don't you?" she said looking up at me with those big blue eyes. I let out a sigh, realizing how grown my little girl really is now.
     "A part of me does, a part of me always will," I confessed.
     "Why didn't you guys ever get back together then?" Paris asked curiously.
     "Well, we tried to shortly after our divorce," I said reminiscing about the old days.
     "While you were still with Debbie?" she asked. I hesitantly nodded my head yes.
     "What happened then?" she questioned.
     "I guess we were both too hurt, and I was already in the process of becoming a dad. She could never come to terms with the fact that I turned to Debbie so quickly to have babies. I know that pained her deeply. And I could never come to terms with the fact that she didn't want to have my children right after we got married, even though she promised me she would. She just wasn't ready I guess. It was too late to go back to the way things once were," I said sadly. Paris and I stayed quiet for a few minutes after that.
     "I'm sorry. I had no idea," she spoke up. I caressed her cheek with the back of my hand.
     "It's okay sweetheart, you didn't have to know. That was my past. You kids are what matter to me the most. I would never put any of you to the side, for the sake of my own love life. Some may say that's silly but I just wouldn't be able to do it," I said.
     "I love you Daddy," she said as she hugged me.
     "I love you more babygirl," I said as I kissed her cheek. "But Paris, the way you spoke to me earlier was downright wrong. I know you know better than that. I know I raised you better than that. You know Mia looks up to you. If she sees you acting like this, she will learn that behavior too. You're a big sister, you need to set a better example," I lectured. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
     "I'm sorry I was disrespectful," Paris mumbled with her head down.
     "You have to respect your elders, no matter what. Now, I want you stay in your room. Think about what went down at breakfast, and really think about how you'll change your attitude going forward. Because I won't stand for it Paris," I scolded.
     "Daddy please, I'm not a child. Are you really gonna make me stay in here for the whollleeee day?" she whined.
     "Well since you want to act like a child, I'm going to have to treat you like one. And yes! You're on punishment. You live under my roof, you're going to follow my rules. And that's that. End of discussion. I'll have someone bring you your lunch. You can join us again for dinner. Now let me have your phone and laptop," I said sternly as I stood up.
     "Daaaad! You can't be serious right now! I'm 20 years old!" she said raising her voice.
     "And I don't care how old you are! You're 20 but acting like you're 2! And I would lower that voice if I were you young lady. You're already in enough trouble as it is. Don't add on to it," I scolded. "Now hand it over," I said sternly as I put my hand out. Paris groaned and pouted as she slowly handed over her electronics. "I hope you'll come out of this with a better attitude. I'll see you at dinner," I said as I closed her door behind me.
The day went on as expected. I worked on some boring work related things in the office. Eventually, class was over for Blanket and Mia. They both came rushing into my office, telling me all about the new things they learned in class. Mia was more eager to share than Blanket. We talked and laughed for a while, only to find Mia dozing off on the couch in my office.
"Mia why don't you go upstairs and take a little nap," I suggested.
"No, I'm not tired," she mumbled while yawning.
"Oh I think you are," I chuckled. Too tired to fight back, she followed me to my room. I tucked her in and gave her a kiss. I went back downstairs and spent some quality time with Blanket. Prince and Paris have such strong personalities, I feel like Blanket can't ever compete with them. Especially when it comes to my attention. He never seemed to mind either. He's more laid back and quiet, much like me.
However, ever since Mia has joined the family I noticed he tries to get my attention more. But he can't steer away from his natural shy nature much. He just takes the back seat as I put all my time and energy into my youngest. And I want to change that. Blanket and I are kindred spirits. I know how it feels to be unbearably shy. I talked with him for hours as Mia took her much needed nap. Prince was still in class and Paris was still in her room. We played video games too, his favorite activity in the world.
"Dad, you suck!" he laughed.
"Hey! That's not nice. I'm new to this. Watch, soon I'll be beating all the high scores," I chuckled. This went on for a while. At one point, Prince came home and joined us. It's  nice spending time with just my boys. My girls take up so much of my time sometimes, I forget what it's like being with just guys.
     After a few hours, my staff informed me dinner was ready. I asked Prince and Blanket to help the kitchen staff set the table. It was time to bring my girls down. I went to Paris first. I knocked on her door before entering. "It's time for dinner baby," I said gently. Paris walked over to me, and wrapped her arms around me. I smiled and held her tight. My little girl was back.
     "I'm sorry for how I spoke to you Daddy. I really mean it this time. I know that must've hurt your feelings," she said sadly. I lifted her chin and looked into her eyes.
     "It's okay sweetheart. I love you," I said with a smile. "Go downstairs and join your brothers. I'll be down there soon." Sending Paris on her way, I entered my bedroom to find Mia still asleep. The room was dimly lit and serene. I went over to Mia, and shook her gently. "Wake up babygirl, it's time for dinner," I said. She tossed in her sleep and finally opened her eyes. She looked energized from that nap of hers.
     Mia sat up and I couldn't contain my laughter. Her hair was no longer in the cute little updo I had created this morning. Her curls looked like a nest. "Why are you laughing?" she questioned.
     "It's your hair silly. What do you do in your sleep?" I chuckled. "Come here, I'll brush it out," I said as I motioned her over to the bathroom. When she came into the light, I realized how badly her hair was actually tangled. I tried brushing it out, with many cries and screams on her end. But unfortunately, I was getting no where. Her curls were in knots and the brush was only making it worse. By now Mia was full blown hysterical.
     "Mia, I think you're gonna need a haircut," I said as I let out a sigh. I love her beautiful curls. I wanted her to grow it out longer, but I don't think that's an option anymore. My suggestion only made her more frustrated. All I wanted was a nice meal with my family, without one of the kids having an outburst. "Ok we'll figure this out later sweetheart, let's go eat now," I said as she calmed herself down. With the tangled nest on Mia's head, we made our way downstairs to our very peaceful, Jackson family dinner.