come back // joshler

8: Josh & Tyler

Josh was inside Tyler's home, sitting on his couch. He was breathing heavily, scared of talking to the boy.

Tyler was standing in front of Josh, who seemed nervous. Mentally he chuckled at the sight but stayed quiet.

"So?", Tyler asked, expecting Josh to speak something. "Speak."

"Well", Josh started and gulped. He was battling his thoughts, trying to assure himself it was okay. But it wasn't none of the things he had done were okay. And the reason was just stupid. He was just a coward, really. "I can't.."

Tyler huffed angrily and rolled his eyes. Josh was looking at Tyler. He looked even smaller than when he had last talked with him. He looked like he was suffering, and he probably was. Josh would've been too if he was in Tyler's position. He felt sorry for the boy, he really did, but he just couldn't tell him the truth.

"If you're not gonna speak then you may as well leave", Tyler said and looked up at the ceiling. "Just don't ever do this again."

"I'm so sorry, Ty", Josh quietly said and looked at his hands, missing the hurt look in Tyler's eyes when he looked at him. "I really am."

"Sure you are", Tyler huffed. "You wouldn't've done this if you cared about me."

Josh couldn't speak anymore, he was about to start crying. He was so sorry, and he knew Tyler wouldn't listen. He had hurt him so badly. Tyler was staring at Josh, who had his face in his hands and his legs were shaking. He sighed and sat down beside him.

"C'mon", Tyler said, still some annoyance in his voice. Josh looked up at him with tears streaming down his cheeks. Tyler tried to smile at him a bit, but he couldn't. He was still angry at him.

"I-I was just so scared", Josh started trying not to let his voice shake, but that was a failed attempt. He couldn't do this. He can't. "I-I.. I j-just.."

Tyler looked at Josh with some interest and lifted his brows up, urging Josh to continue. Josh took a raggedy breath and shook his head slightly. He wasn't ready for this. He couldn't do this.

"Just say it, Josh."

"I-I can't.."

"Why not?", Tyler asked, genuinely interested, even a bit concerned. Josh shrugged at the question.

"I don't know."

"Say it, it might help", Tyler instructed the crying boy. Josh nodded powerlessly and looked down at his lap, fiddling with his hoodie.

"I-I, um, I-I'm g-gay.."