come back // joshler

18: Josh

God, Tyler made him nervous. He just lost all his confidence, but it wasn't in a bad way, really. He was comfortable with talking to Tyler and spending time with him, but he just got really nervous.

"Joshua?", the teacher called, waving her hand slightly. "Are you still with us?"

"Y-yeah, sorry", Josh mumbled back, turning down to look at his notes. They were empty, not very surprising, but he pretended to be reading them for the sake of not getting detention again. He played with his pen, trying to focus on something, but his thoughts going back to Tyler constantly. He didn't mind it though, thinking of Tyler was almost as nice as spending time with him. And in his thoughts he could think of things he could never say out loud to Tyler. He didn't want to upset him. Not anymore. Not that he had wanted to earlier, but now he was very vary on what he would say out loud, and what he shut inside.

By now Josh had already given up on actually studying and trying to save his grades, and he was staring at the clock on top of the door, counting along the ticks of the seconds, waiting for the class to end. Then he could go home, and maybe see Tyler again. He really wanted to see him, he didn't want to not see him ever again. He hadn't been parted from Tyler for more than forty-five minutes, but he already missed him. So, he followed the ticking of the clock for another three minutes before the bell finally sounded, and he quickly spurted out of the door, not wanting to be caught behind by his teacher. He ran down the halls, finding his way to Tyler's locker. The boy wasn't there yet, but he waited.

And he waited.

And waited.

In fact, he waited for two hours.

The first half an hour he told himself Tyler had to stay behind to talk with the teacher.

When an hour had passed he told himself Tyler was in detention.

After one and a half hours he didn't know what to think, but he decided to stay at Tyler's locker waiting for him, just in case.

After two hours he started crying. Had he done something wrong? Why wasn't Tyler there yet? He didn't care anymore, he just laid down on the cold tile floor and sobbed into his hands. After a while he started staring at Tyler's locker, still laying on his back. He sighed before getting up and punching the locker once, twice, thrice, maybe more, he lost count.

"Why?", he screamed, not caring if someone heard him, which would be surprising, since school ended an hour ago for the last students, and no one liked school so much they'd stay after it ended. "What did I do?!"

He kept on screaming and punching before he realized something was dripping onto the floor. He looked down and saw it was blood. His blood. He looked at his hands and huffed in annoyance. What would he do to his bleeding hands? He shrugged before wiping them against his shirt. The only problem with that was that his shirt was white. He took his backpack off the ground and left the school, quickly walking home. He opened the front door and slammed it shut after he was inside, not bothering to call for his mom, walking to his room with his shoes on. Risky, but he didn't give a fuck, really. He found his phone and texted Mikey, who had chemistry with Tyler as their last subject.

Me: Hey, was Tyler in chem?

Mikes: Yeah, but he left early. The teacher pissed him off.

Me: Was he upset?

Mikes: I'd say he was angry.

Me: Did he say where he was going?

Mikes: His words went along the lines of 'Why the fuck do I stay in this fucking hellhole where no one cares for me and hates me, disapproving of everything I say, even if it's the right fucking answer to the fucking stupid question?!'

Mikes: The teacher told him he's getting detention for two weeks for his language and for leaving class, but he flipped him off and left, slamming the door shut and just screaming incoherently in the hallway. The teacher didn't let anyone go after him, saying he was just an attention-seeker.

Me: Fuck..

Mikes. Haven't you seen him after..?

Me: Nope.

Mikes: Texted him?

Me: No..

Mikes: Called?

Me: No, I haven't..

Mikes: Do it then, wtf?

Me: I'm sorry, okay?

Mikes: Just do it now, alright?

Me: Yeah.

And so Josh sighed and clicked onto Tyler's contact.

Me: Tyler..?

Tyjo: what.

Me: Are you alright?

Tyjo: yes.

Me: Where are you?

Tyjo: somewhere else soon enough.

Me: What do you mean?

Sent 5.47pm

Me: Tyler?

Sent 5.49pm

Me: Tyler, are you there?

Messages to this number can no longer be delivered.

What?