Rules // Bang Chan x Reader ♡

VIII.

y/n's pov

I refuse to look at him. Not yet. Not until I know what's going on here. Why would Hyunjin leave me alone with Chris in the studio?

-"Welcome, airport girl."-He says, smiling at me.

My legs start to shake. He is still staring at me, with the same confused look he gave me last time we met. That time when Sian told me he would never love me. 

That's it. That's the thing.

He is going to talk about Sian. I know it. He is going to tell me that he thinks i'm nice and all that stuff but he doesn't love me. How can he love me? How could someone love me in the first place? I've heard those lies too many times.

"You're nice but it's better if we stay friends."

"Is not you, it's me."

Bullshit.

Those sentences, those simple words made me develop my trust issues. Trust issues not even with men, not even with people but with myself. I don't trust myself.

My mom once said:

Don't trust strangers.

I remember being afraid of every single guy, every single woman I saw walking down the street. It's ironic how the biggest stranger was in front on me. I'm the real stranger. How can you trust someone you don't even know? How can I know myself? For a minute there I wanted to run away.

-"Are you ok?" -His voice interrupts my thoughts and I instantly nod.

-"I just... I don't know why...I mean it's-"- I start to mumble as he gets closer to me.

-"Let me show you something." - He says before  taking me by the hand, making me gasp. "Sit here." -He adds and I nod.

A song starts to play, a song I don't recognise. I look at him, still staring at me with a nervous look. What is this? I try to focus on the lyrics but I don't understand it, not a single word.

Wait, that voice...

It's him. It's his voice. I recognise it now. Does this mean this song...? No, no way. I look at him again, frowning. He takes a piece of paper and sits besides me.

He gives the paper to me and points. I smile.  The lyrics.

You question the surroundings
And get no answers on where you're heading
We're going to stop wandering
Without a purpose
The confident needle of the compass turns around violently.

I follow his finger, going through the lyrics of the song. It's beautiful. It fits perfectly my feelings. For the first time in months I do not feel lonely. I touch my face and I realize i'm crying. But i'm crying of hapiness. Maybe I didn't know myself. Maybe he could never love me. Maybe I didn't know what I was doing. I only knew that I had an indescribable peace and joy, which made me cry tears of happiness. The song ended and I reached out to hug him. It took him by surprise but he hugged back.

-"Don't cry."- He says as I embrace him.

-"Thank you."- I say and I can feel his smile.

-"Its ok to feel like that. I feel like that sometimes, too." - He looks at me and I feel weak. I feel weak under his stare.

I just nod. I'm too shocked to answer. Relieved he didn't tell me he could never love me. Because he could, right?

-"Am I that intimidating? Say something.-" He says , winking at me.

-"I don't know what to say, Chris. Just thank you."- I answer and he smiles.

-"That's more than enough for me." - He touches my hand and I start to blush.

What is he doing to me?

-"Let's go out. Get some fresh air." - He says, taking his leather jacket from the sofa besides me.

I nod and I follow him. We go through the corridors once again. There's no one here. I sigh. I am glad Sian doesn't have practice today. I haven't seen her in a while. But I know she's too selfish to even think about me. Too selfish to even think about the fact that her best friend is alone on a new country, with a language she is not able to speak and with no friends or someone to count on. Except Haruto. And Chris?

We enter the elevator.

-" It's really late. Are you really sure you want to do this?" - I ask.

-"It's the only way it can be done, y/n. I am not allowed to go out. Not even this late. And of course not with a girl." -He answers looking at our reflection in the mirror before getting out of the elevator.

-"I should go then. I don't want you to get in trouble. You've done enough for me."-I start to walk faster but he stops me.

I would never allow that to happen. I've hurt many people already, and never forgave myself for it. I would never let him fall too. I don't deserve him.

He just looks at me. He is not saying anything but I know what he is feeling. I sigh and shake my head. Trying to find the right words to convice him. Maybe Sian was right after all. He is too busy to go out with someone. Maybe she was right when she said he could never love me. Maybe I was wrong this whole time.

"Please just don't break the rules for me." -I say softly, looking at him in the eye.

"Some people are worth breaking the rules for."

-

hey! uhh i know this is pretty messy but i have a lot of final exams this week (pls help).

anyways i hope you enjoyed it! i promise next chapter will be a little bit longer.

also, thank you so much for almost 500 readers? that's awesome! i am happy you guys are enjoying it!

as always, please vote if you liked it, it really motivates me a lot!

also comment what do you think about sian! do you like her?  i like when you comment about the chapters and your personal opinions about the characters!

until next time,

marina x