Rules // Bang Chan x Reader ♡

XII.

My eyes are still open and I can't react.

He kissed me?

He seems to realize I'm not moving because he separates his lips from mine. I feel the emptiness. My eyes close.

-"Sorry. I've been wanting to do it for a long time, and I thought this was the perfect ocassion."- He says, looking right at me.

I am trying too hard not to cry so I simply don't answer. I've been surrounded by lies all this time but his kiss was so genuine and sincere that I froze. His kiss was the only good thing that happened to me in the last days. His lips were so soft and I could almost feel his soul while they were touching mine.

-"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that."-He stands up and I try to hold back my tears.

-"Chris."- I take his hand and I look at him.

-"Sorr-"-Before he is able to finish I kiss him again.

He is the one who is shocked this time, because he doesn't move. My lips form a smile still connected to his.

-"I dare you to apologize again." -I giggle and I try to keep all my shyness away. Maybe this is the last time I see his face. And maybe the last time I kiss his lips.

-"If I get the same answer I might do it again."-He laughs and I jokingly hit him. "I love you."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, I start to shake. I can't stop thinking about Sian. The words she told me. The way she talked to me. I think about my father and how he wants me back, just to torture me a bit more.

How is this possible?

How can be this the happiest day of my life when I suffered and cried more than ever? He loves me but the battle isn't over yet. I am lying to him and hiding all my problems like a coward. I want to tell him but I don't want him to be affected by all of this. I smile. Now I know, I know I love him and I would do anything for him, even if I have to risk my life. The only thing I don't want to do is hurt him.

-"Don't look at me like that. I don't expect you to say it back, y/n. I just love you. So much." -He takes my hand and smiles. His smile fills my emptiness and I can't hold it back anymore. Tears start rolling down my face.

-"Are you okay?"- He gets closer to my face and I frown, confused. "You are crying."

The exact same words he said the day we met but a few months later. I giggle and I kiss him again.

As the kiss gets more intense my problems seem to disappear. It's just him and I.

My back is now pressed against the wall as his hand moves down to my hips. I whine and he smirks, his lips still into mine. He suddenly stops and looks at me.

-"Listen, as much as I want to do this with you, I want to make things right. And we need to take it slow." -He presses his forehead against mine and I nod. "By the way, you should wear my clothes more often. You look so hot." -He checks me out and I instantly blush.

-"What about you though? You are like look at me I'm Christopher Bang and I have a perfect smile and perfect hair and perfect eyes. Fuck you Christopher."-He laughs and winks and I just roll my eyes.

-"Don't call me Christopher again."

-"Or else what?" -I raise my eyebrows while smiling.

-"Or else I'll kiss you."-He sits down on the couch. I'm still on the wall.

-"Okay. I won't call you Christopher anymore."- I jokingly say and he rolls his eyes in response.

-"It's not like you didn't like it, though. You were practically begging for more."-He stands up and moves closer to me.

His lips are dangerously close but a few knocks on the wall interrupts us.

-"Would you ever shut up? We get it, you're in love, now go to sleep!"- The voice of Changbin can be heard from the other room and we simply laugh.

After arguing for about thirty minutes about who would sleep on the couch, he finally allowed me to do it, and with a shy wave of his hand and a soft goodnight he went to sleep. I started overthinking too much about everything. And maybe after another hour laying on the couch without being able to sleep, I walked to the window sill and I sat there, just observing the rain. Funny how water cleans and erases everything. All the footprints and traces are all erased by the rain. But the rain can't take away how I'm feeling. And the fact that I have to lie to the person I love.

-"Afraid of storms?" - Chan's voice interrupts my thoughts and I simply nod.

The moonlight is lighting up his skin and the image reminds me of the first day I saw him, sitting on the plane with the sunlight kissing his face.

-"You know what's funny? How the water erases everything."- He says and I smile to myself knowing we think alike.

-"I thought about it."- I looked at him and he smiled.

Maybe that was the last time I would see his dimples.

I tried to move all my negative thoughts away.

-"You are so beautiful." - He says, and I look at him, smiling.

-"Stop it."- I answer and he frowns.

-"Stop what."- He walks towards me and sits down right besides me.

-"This romantic movie thing."-I giggle and he rolls his eyes for the second time tonight.

We talk for hours, moving from the window to the couch, where we asked each other "Do the stars know they shine?". I said yes and he simply answered with "You don't know you shine, yet you are the brightest of them all." I hit him a few times and told him to stop using cheesy pick up lines.

-"Chris. I love you too."- My voice was shaky and I tried not to cry.

No answer.

-"Chris?"- I turned towards him and I saw him peacefully sleeping.

a/n: hello!!! how are you guys?

sorry it took so long to upload but i am going through final exams right now and its really difficult for me to upload!

anyways, i really really hope you liked this chapter! if u did please comment your opinions because they really keep me motivated!

as always thank you for supporting my story and being so dedicate about it!

i love and appreciate you all.

until next time,

marina x