Love N' The City 2 + UnBroKen

🖤 8

Downtown Los Angles,10:13 am

3 days after EAST-WAY LA Opening

KASHMERE SANTIAGO

I shouldn't be here and honestly if Romelo ever found out- I shook the thought from my head as I bounced my Balengica sneakers on the waiting room hardwood floor. Half of my soul wouldn't let me worry about what I was going through, that it would all pass in a few months but it hasnt passed. The other half of me knew better, which is why I was here at this place.

God knows I love my little family, my baby boy and Husband. The attraction and love was still there, Romelo never seemed to stop with compliments but I don't believe sometimes that he really still loves and wants me because I know my emotions wont let his words to be true.

"Mrs. Santiago?"

I looked up from fidgeting with my wedding bands as a tall well dressed older black woman came from behind a office door. I smiled weakly up at her as she extended her hand out for me to shake.

"Nice to finally meet you Mrs. Santiago, I am Dr. Kenya Brown, call me Kenya, we spoke over the phone"

"Please call me Kashmere, and yes! glad to finally meet you in person, thank you again for seeing me on such a short notice.."

We smiled politely at each-other as I followed behind Dr. Kenya into her office.

Stepping inside, an automatic smell of comfort took over me, the smell of warm cinnamon.

I stood on the opposite side of the door my fingers rolling over the piece of plastic wrapper from my peppermint in my hand.

I watched Dr. Kenya gesture for me to take a seat on the blue suede couch across from her in her office, while she pulled out a notebook and pen from behind her desk.

Taking a seat, I placed my purse on the coffee table in between us, my eyes strictly on her.

Quite frankly, I had no idea why I was here, I wasn't crazy... I loved my family... I just- I just. The last three months Romelo and I would be in each other presence and I wasn't walking on egg shells , but I wasn't myself.. I knew it and everyone around me did, something was simmering in me.

"I would ask how. But I'm afraid of the answer. So, I'll just ask why?" She said, I was half surprised because I expected a different icebreaker, for her to say something along the lines,

"What brings you in my office today Mrs. Santiago?" but I guess, this wasn't the time.

"I don't really know where to start. I had my beautiful son going on 4 months ago and its been hard.. really hard adjusting to motherhood and being a new wife." I played with my wedding rings some more as I collected my emotions into words.

"I've been feeling really depressed and inadquate... almost as if Romelo my husband and Rj my son chose the wrong woman to be their wife and mother" I felt the tears begin to fall as the weight of my world laid heavily on my shoulders.

"Have you opened up to your husband about this? these feelings?"

Shrugging no as Dr. Kenya passed me a box of Kleenex tissues, I thought about her question in depth.

'No, I feel like it would be a burden... my husband and my cousin just opened up a 3rd franchise clothing store out here in LA, he needs to focus."

Dr. Kenya simply nodded as she jotted a few notes in her book.

"So, you don't think your husband would put your needs first?

As a wife and mother myself Kashmere, we as woman tend to think we have to do it all.. be a wife, a mother, a good friend.. and sometimes we have to step back and ask for help or a break from it all.. to refocus our energy into ourselves.