Two boys in a snake den

A not-so-chance encounter

"Fancy seeing you here Potter." 

Draco was slumped casually against the corner of the cold flagstone wall. The key here was confidence he thought, but also a level of nonchalance because Potter was part of the peasantry and common people relate to things like that. Which is why Draco had elected to wear his shorter, less intimidating kitten heels, as opposed to his silk point shoes, just to keep it subtle.

"Yes Malfoy, how odd that you would see me here, walking through the corridor of the school we both attend, and have attended for several years. How very odd indeed."

"Er, yes. Exactly. Anyways...I have a..proposition for you." Draco leaned even further back, hand resting on his hip. Oh yeah, he was nailing this casual shit.

"Go on."

Draco sashayed up to Potter, waving a large slice of treacle tart just under his nose. "That's right big boy, come and get it-"

"Ew Malfoy, what the fuck are you doing?"

Draco tossed the slice of tart aside, stomping his foot and pouting. "Well it always starts out this way in porn!"

Harry made a gagging motion. "Are you trying to fuck me?"

Draco scoffed. "Oh ho ho Potter. That could not be further from my mind, in fact I would rather dry hump a dead hippogriff while a half mast professor Flitwick looked on casting wingardium leviosa if you know what I mean. But that's beside the point, if I was trying to seduce you I'd probably tell you that I'm wearing a freshly laundered Calvin Klein G string and after that, I'd escort you back to my room, ply you with lots of elf-made wine and neck a few bottles of liquid luck then be on my merry way. But I'm not so inclined."

Harry stood playing his game boy (which is actually really possible even though technology doesn't work in Hogwarts because Hermione was too busy frick fracking with Ron to notice that game boys are allowed actually so don't even try it bitch.), ignoring Malfoy altogether. 

"Ahem. Potter?"

"Mhm?"

"Teach me Parseltongue?"

"Sure, whatever." And then he skulked off, desperately trying to catch Pikachu with his Pokeball so as to use him in his next mortal combat battle with super Mario. (And yes I game because I'm not like other girls.)