5SOS One Shots

A letter to my former lover - Ashton Irwin

Hey Ashton,

I guess I just wanted to write today, it's been a week since I found out about that new girl you met and I literally can't even function right now, so I'm sorry if none of this makes sense but to be honest, it's your fault.

I guess when you said "forever"," you meant until you found someone better...

And I guess thanks to you I've learnt that people will hurt you and not give a shit about the damage they caused you, but you can't use that as an excuse to hurt them, because then at the end of the day we would both be covered in scars and bruises, not just me.

When I was with you, I was living between hope and fear, hope that it would be different and fear that it would be exactly the same and this time round, I got the same as always, the fear side...

I heard our song the other day, I found the iPod you gave me and it still has all our favourite songs on it, and the playlist you made... I seem to play it on repeat until I fall asleep. Nowadays, it seems to be the only way I actually get any sleep, without laying my head on you chest and slipping into sleep to the sound of your heartbeat.

When we met, I though maybe you're gonna be the one to save me, save me from myself, but I was wrong, the only thing you saved me from was from paying for my own Starbucks every time we went in there together.

I guess we only ever accept the love we think we deserve, and stupidly, I accepted yours. Everyone keeps telling me that you're gonna be sorry you lost me, but I don't think that's the case, you're doing perfectly fine with out me. That's the problem, you're doing fine, and I'm really not fine at all... I'm sitting here wondering if what we had was real, how could you be fine... Well I guess some do it better than others...

I'm sitting here wondering why I can't forget there stupid little things. Didn't your mamma tell ya that ya shouldn't make a girl fall for ya if ya ain't gonna catch her? No? Well it's true.

At one point, I literally felt like I was hugging a cactus instead of loving you, like the tighter I held on, the more painful it was for me.

Just to let you know Ashton, being a dick won't make yours any bigger... #JustSaying...

Maybe one day, one day we'll find the one place where our dreams and reality collide, but until then, I'm going to try and get over you. I love you and I probably always will, but I'm going to get over you, I know I will.

Anyway, goodbye Ashton, love you baby xxx💖💖