5SOS One Shots

Remembering Sunday - Ashton Irwin (triggering)

Wow okay it's 2001 words...

*warning, this may be very triggering for some people, so please don't read it if you fee like you will be triggered.*
*contains self harm, suicide attempt, cutting and insulting language*

A•N• guys I want you to know that this was really hard for me to write and that if you are suffering from anything you can talk to me, I've been through a lot myself and I'll be there for you if you have any thoughts or problems, please don't be afraid to talk, I don't bite, remember that's you're loved and you're here for a reason, even if you haven't found that reason yet. I love you all and thanks for reading💖💙

Maddie's POV

Me and Ashton were laying on the hotel bed, me cuddled into his body, his arm around me, while we were doing a twitcam. The fans were asking random questions and daring us to kiss and other things.

One of the questions for Ash was 'how long is your pickle?' To which he giggled uncontrollably and did a Mexican wave kinda thing with his eyebrows and mentioned something about a breadstick, but I was too busy letting my mind wander to notice.

"MADDS!" Ashton suddenly shouted, flailing his hand in front of my face and trying to knock me out of my daydream.

"Fuckdick!" I screamed as I fell off the bed in shock, scared by his sudden shout.

Ashton's laugh rang out loudly in the room, as he leaned across the bed and hung off the edge, taking my hand and pulling me up, which took a while because he was still laughing.

Once we were situated on the bed again, he sat behind, with me between his legs, and leaning against his chest while he wrapped his arms around my waist. We began reading the comments, with Ash complaining about being tired, as he buried his head in my neck and kissed my skin, making me shiver and giggle, covering my hideous laugh with my sweater paws.

That's when the comments began to get more hateful.

"Wtf is Maddie's laugh?"
"Ew why is Ashton dating a dog?"
"My eyes are now burning from the sight of her ugly face"
"Why doesn't she go cut?"
"Can she please jump off a bridge? Kay thanks"
"Die bitch"
"Ugly whore"
"Fucking skank"
"Slut"
"Die."
"Bye bitch. Ashton's don't want you no more, in fact, he never did."
"Why is he even with her? I ship Ashton and Bryana, at least she isn't a cheating whore that deserves to die."

Tears burned in my eyes and I tired to focus on Ashton's hold around my waist in a vain attempt to forget about the nasty, spiteful comments. But it simply wouldn't work.

I felt the tears begin to fall and I turned around, curling up in a ball and nuzzling into Ashton's body. He wrapped his arms around me and giggled.
Why the fuck is he seriously laughing right now?

His laughed died down and I glanced up at him through my hands, but his gaze was on the screen, frowning.
He looked down at me and I choked out another sob, he grew more concerned, turning the laptop away slightly with his foot, so neither of us were on camera, before pulling me full on his lap and rubbing my back comfortingly with one hand and his other on my thigh, holding me close to him so I could feel his heartbeat.

"Baby..." He spoke in a whisper, "I saw what they said about you, you can't listen to them okay, I don't want you to get bad again, please, just listen to my voice," he spoke, his voice cracking as he tried not to let his tears fall, as flashbacks raced through my mind.

He was out with the guys and I knew he would be back till late, at least that's what I thought...

I placed the letter for him on the desk, tears streaming down my puffy face as I stood up and walked towards the bathroom.