Our Untold Stories

But I'm Staying

"Zara Elise. What the fuck did you CALL me? TONYA. WHY? Why did you call me her NAME?! Were those words for her? EXPLAIN yourself, stop acting like you don't speak no fucking English. Tell me this... ANSWER IT TRUTHFULLY... I swear to god you better tell me the truth. Zara do you LOVE that bitch? I know. I GET IT. I fucked up. But I didn't go fall in love. YOU CLEARLY GOT SOME FEELINGS STOWED AWAY... I give you my all, and I fuck up once, and you fall in love with another BITCH. THAT'S how we're doing things?!" I sat in disbelief of words that were coming out of her mouth.

"You know I love you and I will never love anyone like I love you. Stop putting shit into your own brain. I married you for Christ's sake." I tried to defend myself, but she shot it down instantly.

"YOU MARRIED ME... YOU MARRIED ME AND YOU FUCKING LOVE SOMEONE ELSE. You're toying with me. You don't love me. You love her. You do." She began to get more and more frustrated, and soon things started flying. Clothes, lamps, sheets... Everything in the room was rearranged. "You... You don't love me... But I love you... You don't fucking love me not one bit. You can try to force yourself to believe you love me. But those words weren't even meant for me..."

"Deena. Can you stop?" Those words stung. Tonya loved me how Deena was speaking, but I only loved Deena and no one else like that before. "Deena. Those words were for you. Not intended for anyone else. There's so much to explain to you... So you can understand. Tonya is in love with me, but I'm in love with YOU. I'm busy thinking day and night of how to avoid a fuck up that I done did... A DRUNKEN fuck up. I did wrong. I really did. But I FOREVER LOVE YOU. I FUCKING PROPOSED TO YOU. I MARRIED YOU. If I felt nothing for you... Would I do this? ALL OF THIS? And if you think for one fucking second that you can LEAVE me? You better think again... You're not going any fucking where... You can't just take the other piece of my heart."

Deena crawled across the bed and laid her head on top of my chest and sobbed. I felt HORRIBLE. Why was our whole world falling apart like this?

"You... You love her. But I can't go anywhere. I love you with my whole self... That's where I made the mistake with you. I loved you with all of me, and if I leave? You'll have ALL of me..."