Our Untold Stories

Forgiveness

My heart was hurt, my mind was lost and even after all that just happened, I couldn't cry. I had been all cried out, and I felt terrible, because I just lost one of my closest friends in the blink of an eye, yet I had not shown much emotion to the situation. I was honestly confused on how I felt, because it was my love, my wife, who had taken his life. I was trying to defend her idiotic action, but I was fighting with myself mentally because I knew it wasn't right.

"Dee are you packed? Ready to go? We have to leave a little earlier so Serena can pick up some things for the trip to Egypt..." I heard Tonya's caring voice through the door and was pulled out of my thoughts.

"Uh... Yeah hold on, let me just... Hold on." I couldn't even imagine what she felt! She didn't even witness the argument, she came out of her room to see Quinton falling, life slipping from him, and Za running away from the situation. Then to be told your best friend, someone you know like the back of your hand, did something so... Foreign from their nature? She had to take that all in, still taking in the image she'd just seen, and make something unbelievable make sense. Me and her had to get through this together, but I felt like she had so much more to deal with emotionally than I did in this, SADLY.

The way that I was feeling, I didn't even want to stand up away from the bed. I looked in the mirror next to the door and brushed my stray hairs up into my bun and threw the door open. Tonya and Serena stood before me, kissing and laughing, just how me and Zara used to do when we first got together. We were content with how we made each other feel, we loved how we had what we had and didn't care what anyone else felt.

"You ready?" Tonya looked at me while still laughing, and I guess she recognized a look I had on my face, because her smile quickly disappeared. "Dee, what's the issue?"

"Tonya... You okay?" She looked at me funny, scrunching up her eyebrows.

"Yeah... Am I not supposed to be? I'm great..." She grabbed hold of Serena's hand and kissed her. "Never better..." They smiled at each other for a minute then looked at me. "Why though?"

"Tonya... Your best friend just killed MY best friend." I said in a whispering voice. "You don't feel just a little bit of hurt from that? Confusion? Frustration?"...

"Deena, how do YOU feel about this shit?" Serena chimed in.

"Serena... I don't KNOW. I'm going to be 100% honest with you. I HAVE NO CLUE. I don't know how I'm supposed to react. How am I supposed to feel? I didn't know how to react when she did it, and I don't know how to react NOW. I'm all broken inside because she did the most selfish thing possible. She put me in between the middle of my love and my best friend. She's forcing me to choose without even knowing it, she's always secretly wanted me to choose, and she FORCED me to." I felt the panicky feeling I felt when Quinton got shot all over again. "I... I love her, but she's forcing me to choose between two different types of loves." My voice started breaking, I felt it shake, and then I swallowed the tears I had been looking for.

"Deena..." Tonya looked at me with sadness and sympathy in her eyes. "Pick up one of the bags, we've... We've gotta go." She looked down... Like as if though she knew something I didn't, as if though she had information that was helping her get through this that I just simply did not have.

"Okay Tonya... Come on, I texted Juinet, he's downstairs waiting, has been for a while... We can just load up the car, and go where ever this ass that I love so much has planned." We made our way downstairs, and I just went blank-minded. I didn't want to think about Zara at that moment, I didn't want to think about anything. I got in the car and watched Serena and Tonya follow.

"BITCH, you could get left right here in Paris, pay for these rooms your fucking self! If you don't want to, hurry the fuck up! DAMN!! Taking your sweet ass time like ANYBODY got time for that shit. You irritating me, forreal though!" Tonya BARKED at Kahli, loud and booming embarrassing her. Kahli wasn't pussy, but she wasn't STUPID. Tonya whupped her ass, and she wasn't trying to get another ass beating. She just looked... Empty. She hadn't seen Quinton in almost 4 months, and the first time she did, she got him killed... She felt extreme guilt and sadness, you could see it all over her face. She sped up to get in the last row of the Jeep Juinet had picked us up in. She sat in the back and she cried all over the seat. She bawled silently, because Q was gone and she didn't know what else to do. I just closed my eyes and listened to her muffled sobs the entire ride.

Before I knew it, we were in the jet, waiting to fly off. "Deena, try to get some sleep..." Tonya walked up behind me, and rubbed my head. "Sleep kid. You need it. We're gonna have a day of searching for this idiot tomorrow. So rest up." She was right, so I nodded and slid deep in to my seat and before I knew it I was sleep, deep in my dreams.