Our Untold Stories

The Time to Talk

The beautiful thing about me and Zara's love? We knew how to pick at each other's minds and understand each other. Me and Zara made love after my arrival in the hotel room. Afterward? We laid down facing each other, and we talked. She tried to apologize, and I kissed her quiet.

"Zara. I don't want any apology. I want you to get to the point. Why? Why did you kill him?" I looked her in her eyes, searching for the answer before she gave it to me.

"I... I love you so much Dee." Her eyes gazed off, and I could tell she was trying to make sense of it herself. "I just fe- No I don't want to bullshit you. Deena listen to what I'm telling you. You're now mine. What's my last name? And now you have it. Because you are mine. And I am yours. We have so much love between us, and you have so much of a hold over me. And I HATE to share what is mine. He spoke... Ready to take what was mine. He's always been ready to take what was mine. And he pushed it too far. FIRST of all, to know that he's had your body, the way I've had your body? That set so much hate off in my mind. Knowing that he was a part of you the way I at all times long to be a part of you? Knowing he stood in my place for any amount of seconds? It really set me off Dee. And then..." Her voice broke. "A few other things added on to my anger, and I snapped. And then when you tried to stop me from hurting him? It bothered me. Because I felt like you loved him enough to defend him against me."

"Zara. I love you. Way too much, some people say." I kissed her soft, and it got deeper. The past couple of kisses we've shared have had more emotion and love in them than they usually do. "Zara. Our kisses? Are different. Have you noticed?" She ran her finger along my hairline, laying my stray hairs down, and nodded. "What does that mean? Is it what happens when you get married? You gather a part of love that you've never had with anyone before. Because... That's what it feels like."

She blinked and a few tears fell out. "I love you way too much too."

"Zara. Can I ask you something?" She blinked a bit more, and I kissed her tears off of her eyes.

"Ask away baby..."

"So... I was wondering... If maybe... We could move in together now? I've been wanting to ask for a while now, because I hate being away from you... I go to sleep Uptown, wondering what my Midtown baby is doing... And now, seeing as we're married... I can't believe it, that's why I keep saying it, if you're wondering... We should live together, and grow together as a couple in that way. If you get what I'm saying... You can say n-"

"Beautiful." She ran her finger on my hair line again. "I was waiting for you to mention it... I want to wake up to your beautiful face every single day for the rest of my life. I want to buy a house eventually, get out of the city, put you in the big house you deserve, live the fairy tale life with you."

"Did you.." My voice got quieter. "Did you feel like Q was the villian in the fairy tale, and I had to be rescued from him or something?" I kept bringing the topic back to what had happened, because it was latched on to the back of my mind. "Did you feel like you had to be the hero? And save me? Did you feel like this fairy tale we're writing with our lives would be destroyed?"

She looked me in my eyes, and I could tell she was trying to register every question that I had just asked, and make it all come together for one answer. "Deena Palacios-Lovell, I want no stains on our story pages..." She pulled me close and held me, skin to skin. I felt her heart beat and listened to it like my favorite song.

"Zara...No relationship is perfect. There's always hiccups, there's always issues that come along, big or small... We can't just pretend we're in a ladi-dadi world with no problems, or eliminate every issue that comes along... Do you get what I'm saying?" I sighed, and shook my head, hoping she understood what I meant.

"So... What are you telling me? That you don't want me to try and have a good relationship?... I don't get it. I really don't understand."

"Listen to what I'm saying. Stop hearing what you wanna hear, that's your damn problem you stubborn ass. I'm TELLING you... I want to have a good relationship, a great one, and we should work together on that... But Za... We cannot have a PERFECT relationship... There's no such thing."

"But... ANYTHING... Anything with you? Is perfect. So what do you mean? You're the greatest state of perfection, maybe even more... So how do I not try to present a queen with queen's attire? How do I attempt to hand someone who is so perfect... Anything less?"

I began to tear up to the max. It seemed like the past couple days, Zara knew exactly what to say to dig at my heart and make it beat right. I loved her more and more over the days, something I didn't even know was possible. It all seemed too... By the book. It was WAY too perfect. And that scared me. "Zara Elise. Can you look at me? In my eyes? And tell me... How your heart truly feels about me? Don't think, please. Just tell me."

"Dee I don't un-"

"Zara, just talk. Tell me what you feel. Please."

"Okay... The sun? It comes up because my heart still beats loving you.. The moon still comes around at night, because something in my little world needs a spotlight. It's you. You're everything I need, more than what I need, exactly when I need it. I could never lose you. I forever need you. Because you complete me. I know, I know... So cliche. Yeah, yeah... But you do. Because I know for a fact, my air changes around me when you're near. My stance is different, my heart beats to a different drum, my smiles come out more genuine, and I really truly know what happiness feels like because of you... I don't know how else to explain it. YOU have the power to change how many times I blink in a second, because I always find myself staring at you. YOU hold the power to change how I speak, because I desire to show you how my mind works. YOU hold the power to change how I walk, because sometimes I want to walk up to see if you're walking there behind me." She wasn't even facing me anymore, she'd rolled over on to her back to stare at the ceiling. "You...." She took a deep breath, and then exhaled the words. "You change me. You make me the better me. You make my world the best it can be... I love you Tonya."

WHAT THE FUCK?

She kept fucking talking as if though she hadn't said what she said. "You make my world go around on a different axis." She pulled me to her, to kiss me, and I jerked away.

"What's my name Zara?..."

"It's T- oh my f- Baby."

"Say my fucking name Zara. Do you know it?"

"Deena...."

"Why did you just call me... Zara, were those words even... Were those words for me?"

She looked me in my face, and turned away. "Deena... Fuck."

I stood up. I needed to go talk to fucking Tonya, ASAP.

"Deena. Where are you going?" I stood over her side of the bed and loooked down on her.

"Don't ask me shit, fuck your question." With that, I easily slid into my sweats and and pulled on my pink t-shirt and slid into my slippers, and LEFT...

What room is this bitch in?