Our Untold Stories

Idiotic Love

"How many times do I have to tell you, I am finished... I've never been a stupid broad, and I'm not for this shit. Let me the fuck out of the door Leo!"

"Bitch, you ain't finna go nowhea, not one place. You better get that thought out yo head before I have to buss you in it again." He grabbed my sweater in his hands and spoke close to my face, his voice no longer as sexy as I once thought, now terrifying to me.

"Leo... Let go of me please... You're gonna stretch out my sw-"

"Don't even say it Tonya, DON'T EVEN SAY IT. Cuz real shit, this hea is MY sweater, I paid for this shit, I can do what I please to it. I can grab it up, rip it if I damn so please..." I put my head down, not wanting to look him in his eyes. I wanted to leave so bad, but he wouldn't let me. We fought everyday like this until someone shed blood, and 9 times out of 10 it was ME. "Now... Get the fuck away from my door Tonya. Go sit down somewhere girl. Too much damn mouth..." He threw me by the grip he had on my sweater, and I fell into the coffee table, and hit my head.

My head began pounding and I saw blood dripping onto our white carpet. Before I could worry about my injury, I was wondering if Leo saw the mess I was making on the carpet.

"Tonya... Look up at me bitch... Now I know... It ain't no blood from your head on that there carpet... That ain't yo blood right... Tell me it ain't no mess on my fucking floor. Another mess of blood on my fucking floor Tonya?" He stood over me and I looked up, without meeting his eyes. Staring at the hickies on his neck and lipstick stains all over his white t-shirt, my vision became cloudy with tears. I was so hurt by this man, and I couldn't even leave.

After what happened a few months ago, he'd been treating me like nothing. Leo kept telling me he wanted me to give him his first son, and we were trying and trying, and we succeed. I was pregnant, we were happy, and I was satisfied with what I had 100%, for the first time in almost 2 years... Until one night when I was 7 months pregnant, I went to pee and found that I was bleeding. I ran into the living room crying, unsure of what to do, and Leo ran out of bed to come help me. As soon as he saw the blood coming down my leg, he knew what had happened, and a look of extreme disappointment came across his face. He looked more hurt than anyone else could ever possibly be, because we'd just found out I was having a boy, his dream was coming true and then all taken away from him at once.

"The keys are on the counter, or do you want a cab number?"

When he said those words, my heart broke. He didn't even want to come to the hospital with me. He kept looking at me as if though he was disgusted, and wanted nothing more to do with me. It wasn't my fault that I had a miscarriage, yet he looked at me as if though I chose to give the baby up. I wanted that baby just as much as he did, I wanted a reality with him where Zara no longer existed and it was just me, Leo, and our son.

Ever since I lost the baby, Leo made love to me less and less. He began coming home with lipstick stains, colors I don't even own all over his shirt. Curly hair all over him, when my hair was straight. Hickies on his skin, when I hadn't even been allowed to kiss him. He found every way to avoid loving me in any way, and his touches where no longer soft, they were hard hits. He began to HATE me because I could not give him what he wanted, yet he would not let me leave. I could not be anyone else's, even though it seemed he didn't want me as his anymore. I began to felt like soon, he'd just beat me to death and I'd be nobody's.

"Leo you don't want anything to do with me anymore. Why am I still HERE? Why do you insist on keeping me here? You fuck bitches every other day, don't even tell me you love me anymore, and you put your hands on me like I'm some dog. SO WHY AM I HERE?"

"Tonya..." He looked at me with his beautiful eyes, and for a second I forgot that he was the monster he had become toward me. "All anyone has ever done is let me down. And YOU of all people fucking let me down. You had one job, ONE. Give me the family I always wanted. And you failed. And that hurt me. What I been doing? Working my ass off to keep you happy, well fed and clothed, somewhere nice to live... You know damn well this place ain't cheap... Yet you can't just give me my fucking son? SO WHAT ARE YOU WORTH? Or better question... What am I worth? Was I not good enough to you? That you just couldn't have my son? I didn't deserve it?" Tears formed in his eyes, as they faded to pure grey, the way they did when he cried or was tired. "T, I didn't deserve it?" He dropped to his knees, and sat in front of me.