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Chapter 29 - Escape

I walked up the stairs with a frozen smile on my face, just wishing to get to my room, to reach its sanctuary and develop a plan. Not cry foolishly and curse his name. Think calmly and reasonably of a legitimate way not to be heartbroken. Once my fingertips touched the door knob I knew I was beyond any reasonable thought. I passed through the threshold and the tears began. Damn him! Damn him to hell! Just who did he think he was, kissing me like that in front of Wammy, Ella, Jude and even Near? And then releasing me from my stupor just to say it hadn't mattered? Yet again!

"What a complete git." I seethed as I crossly changed out of my night gown/wedding dress and dressed in a pair of trousers. I tore a shirt off of the hanger in my wardrobe and threw it over my head now wanting to be out of the house as soon as possible. A brisk walk on the grounds might do the trick, possibly even be therapeutic. I doubted it, but I had to go somewhere. Somewhere away from him and my growing penchant for physical violence.

A knock fell on the door and I shouted, "Go away! I want a divorce!"

Silence, then Anne came into the room stunned. "Gracie?! Gracie, what's wrong?"

"Oh," I went back to trying to tie my trainer shoelace as she instantly came to my side and hugged me. "Just the usual. I need to get away from him. It's just painful. I'm tired of how genuine and wonderful he can be one minute and blasé and heartbreaking the next. He's just...a....flipping wanker! I've had enough of the reckless way he plays with my heart. I can't take it anymore!"

Anne listened to me fully and intently as always, her eyes warm with understanding as I carried on with tears and curses and wishes that Wammy had left him in that orphanage and never brought him into my life.

"Grace," she finally spoke. "I thought that you guys had talked things through. You were so sweet together last night. What could have happened already?"

I hung my head. "Last night did end up wonderful, but it was just another instance of seeing a bit more of the L I want to know and then watching that be snatched back out of my reach. I wish I could understand. I can figure out most anything but not him! He's so bloody confusing! I don't think he even knows what he wants! He doesn't want to be a grown up--that's it--he wants to play these childish games for as long as he's able. Bugger it that he's supposed to have responsibilities! Nothing has meaning! He thinks everything's a laugh, granted, we were pretending to get married but still!"

"Wait, what?!" Anne cried, a smile flashing across her face before concern banished it once more. "Back up. Pretending to get married?"

I shrugged. "Simply appeasing Ella. One of her "Let's Pretends". It was all rather fun until he kissed me in front of half the house and  Wammy and then said it was all for show." I punched the pillow by my side in frustration and the stupid picture I had looked at before bed for months while imagining any possibility of us being together slipped out from under it and fluttered to the floor. I glared at it with a new hatred. Damn him for being attractive and athletic and sensual and all of it! I'd show him when the picture ended up in my bin as it should have long ago.

Anne quickly scooped up the sketch before I could grab it. She smoothed out the wrinkles on the paper with a small smile. "I don't want you destroying my painstakingly created masterpiece in a fit of fury, G. I'll keep it for now, all right?"

"Right, that's probably best." I sighed, wiping my eyes with a shaky sniffle. I would miss her terribly, but her idea to go visit Liam's family now that she was to become part of it had made sense. It was only right and it was typical Anne through and through.

She glanced down at the picture preparing to speak once more. "You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I don't think you are the only one in possession of one of my sketches."