The Misconceptions of You

Chapter 19: Questions Without Answers

Eunjin’s POV

I went to the doctor today, I told him about the flashes of memories I’m having. He said it was probably because I’m beginning to remember my past. I’m not sure if I like the idea of having my memories back. It has been so long since they were gone and you can say I got used to it already. What if there was something in my past that I didn’t want to remember?

If, just in case although it’s highly impossible, that what my mom said about Taemin is true, then I don’t want to remember what happened 8 years ago. Maybe mom was right. It’s better for me not to know the truth.

Mom still insists that I should breakup with Taemin.

“I’m sorry mom. I can’ break up with the person I love.” When I told her that, she looked really upset that it almost seemed like she was in the verge of tears. Then I left because I could no longer face my mom while knowing that I will just cause her more distress. Whatever she says I will never change my mind so I might as well just leave.

When I got to meet Taemin again, I mustered up my courage and asked him another one of the many things that’s been bothering me.

“Taemin...” I said to get his attention.

“Hmmm?”

“Have we met before? I mean… before I met you on the street 3 years ago… have we known each other even before then?” I asked.

Taemin stared at me for a long time before he said, "No."

Yes, his answer makes more sense. He wouldn’t lie to me right? If we’ve known each other before, I’m sure Taemin would say so. There is no reason for him to keep it a secret from me, right? And also he wouldn’t put me in danger like what my mom said. Taemin is not that kind of guy. It could all have been just some misunderstandings. I should really stop thinking about it.

I gave Taemin a weak smile. "You’re right. I don’t know why I even considered it. It’s just that having no memories of the past makes me so frustrated. And no one seems to be willing to tell me anything.”

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I had an unusual dream again. But this time it was different because Taemin is part of it. We were in the music room together and he’s playing the piano and singing a song for me.

“I want to be a singer,” he told me afterwards.

“Chincha?” I asked getting excited. With his talent I knew he’s going to be a great singer someday.

“How about you?” he asked me back.

“I want to be your fan,” I replied.

“It’s a promise then. I’m going to be famous and you’re going to be the president of my fanclub. Deal?”

I laughed really hard. “Ok. Deal.”

Then I woke up more confused than before. The dream was like another fragment of my missing memories. But then, why would Taemin be a part of my childhood memory?

I covered my face with the palm of my hand. I didn’t know what to think anymore. Could it be that my mom was telling the truth? If that is the case then could it be that Taemin really was the reason why I almost died 8 years ago? But how? I don’t even know how I almost died. I only knew I got hospitalized for a while.

I forced myself to rise up and take a shower. But before I reached the bathroom I got a splitting headache. My head feels like it’s going to explode. I leaned on the door trying to steady myself and waiting for the pain to subside. When it did I went back to bed and made a decision to skip school.

I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. The tears went pouring down against my will. My phone started ringing so I was forced to open my eyes. I wiped the tears that were streaming down my face with the back of my hand before I reached out for my phone to check who was calling. It was Taemin.

I put the phone back on my desk and decided to ignore the call. I’m not in the mood to talk to him right now. I picked up my pillow and covered my ears with it. Taemin called twice more before he finally gave up and sent me a message instead.

"Mianhae Eunjin-ah. I hope you’re ok. I can't meet you again today. We have schedules again. I miss you.”

I threw my phone back on my desk. I feel so frustrated right now and not having him around doesn’t help at all. I totally miss him too but he never shows up. All I get are messages saying he was sorry he couldn’t come and sometimes promises that he will definitely meet me on the next few days. It had been this way for weeks.

They just finished promoting their album and they no longer have too many schedules so I can’t see any reason for him not to meet me. I want to meet him and demand an explanation. But I guess it’s going to be impossible for now.

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