Chapter 25: Reminisce

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Taemin’s POV

On the day Eunjin and I broke up I spent the night drinking alone in a bar. I guess it’s not a good idea because it made me pity myself even more.

I received a message from Soojin that night saying Eunjin was crying her heart out and she wanted to know what happened.  I didn’t reply. For a second I was tempted to meet Eunjin and tell her my true feelings. But then that will ruin everything. I tried to convince myself that she’ll be fine even without me and that she will get over it soon. I know because she had always been a strong girl.

People say that a love that blooms at a young age is not a true love. It could be a puppy love or a crush or just plain infatuation but never true love. In my case I found my true love when I was five. I fell in love with Eunjin from the very first moment I’ve met her.

Eunjin was my classmate ever since we were in grade school. I never missed school because skipping school means I couldn’t be with her. However I caught a cold once and I had to stay at home for a couple of days. I sat at the porch outside our house waiting for Eunjin to come home. Their house is just across ours so I’ll be able to see her instantly. However I got tired of waiting and decided to walk the path towards the school expecting to meet Eunjin along the way. I sneaked out because I was pretty sure my mom wouldn’t allow me to leave the house in my state. I still have a little bit of fever.

After a while, I saw Eunjin walking alone with a down-cast look on her face. She had a cast on her arm and she was walking with a bit of a limp. I noticed her bleeding knee and I instantly knew she’s in trouble.

“You can never live a day without me can you?” I asked her. Aigoo, this girl really makes people worry. I gave her a piggyback ride home. My fever got worse afterwards but it was ok because I got to spend more time with Eunjin.

However, when we were in junior high Eunjin suddenly changed. She likes hanging out with her female girlfriends more than she does with me. One day I asked her if we were going home together as usual. She said she couldn’t because she and her friends are going somewhere. And so I went home alone feeling upset because the girl I like doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore.

The next few days were the same. It feels as if Eunjin is getting further and further away from me. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting the fact that I let the person I love go so I made a decision to do something about it. I’m going to tell her my true feelings.

On the fifth day since Eunjin started ignoring me I was about to go home alone again when Eunjin came up to me and said with a smile, "Let’s go home together today."

I returned the smile and said, "Ok."

We walked home together and it made me happy that Eunjin is back to normal again. We laughed and talk about anything and everything. When we reached home it was time to say goodbye.

"Taemin," she said before we go our separate ways. "Happy birthday."

I was surprised because I forgot it was my birthday. I was so frustrated with the thought of losing my best friend that I forgot. "Gomawo," was all I was able to say.

“Here…" She stretched out her hand to give me a box clumsily wrapped in ribbons.

I looked at her and her face showed a really cute expression. She was biting her lip and avoiding my eyes so I realized she was feeling a little embarrassed. I took the gift from her hands and forced her to look at me then said, "Gomawo, Eunjin-ah."

I was about to open the gift when she stopped me and said, "Don’t open it yet."

“Wae?”

“It's just... I’m not sure if you’re going to like it... I asked my friends to help me look for a gift but I couldn’t find anything good. But when I saw it I knew it will look good on you. But I’m still not sure if you will like it so don’t open it now. Open it after I leave. Arass- yah!" She couldn’t finish what she was saying because I was already opening the gift and completely ignoring her.

The gift was really nice and I liked it instantly. It was a bracelet made of tan leather strap and a silver anchor style hook. At the back of the anchor are initials LT which must stand for Lee Taemin.

“It’s ugly.” Eunjin looked disappointed and I couldn’t stop myself from pinching her cheeks. “I’m just kidding. I love it.” I smiled to make my point. “Eunjin-ah, put it on me.” I stretched out my arm so she can put it on me. It looked perfect and I never took it off afterwards.

And then the incident happened. I was so filled with guilt because I couldn’t even protect the person I love. Yes, it was all my fault. Eunjin almost died because of me. And until now I’m still living with that guilt weighing on my chest.

I can still remember that moment when the bullet went right through me. Back then, I thought I was going to die for sure. The burning pain was so unbearable and even the slightest movement was difficult. Either the man who shot me was really stupid or I was just lucky that he missed my vital parts. The bullet only scraped the side of my stomach so it didn’t kill me. But I was bleeding hard and if it didn’t stop I might die from the loss of blood. I didn’t care anymore if I died at that moment. I just wanted Eunjin to survive. From the corner of my eye I saw her faint. It was right after the sound of the gunshot. When I turned to look she was already on the ground. I stretched out my arm to reach for her but the pain didn’t allow me to even touch her hand. Then for the first time in a long time, I cried. If I didn’t make it tonight at least please let Eunjin live, I prayed.

I can hear sirens in a distance. The crazy men seemed to be in a panic. More men appeared in the darkness. I can feel my consciousness slipping away. I looked at Eunjin for the last time and before I passed out I made a silent desperate plea to let us both live so we can at least celebrate the fact that on that day I made Eunjin mine.

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