The Misconceptions of You

Chapter 22: Heartbreak

Eunjin’s POV

Thinking that I wouldn’t feel as lonely as I would be if I stay in my own room alone, I asked Soojin if I can stay in her room for the night. “Soojin-ah, can in stay here with you tonight? I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

She said ok without asking why and I’m grateful for it. I don’t feel like talking about it yet. The bed is big enough for the two of us so it was ok. After hours of twisting and turning, Soojin was finally in deep sleep. I could hear her even breathing so I guess she’s already in deep slumber. I, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to doze off.

Memories of Taemin keep hunting me. I guess I do love him that much. My eyes are tearing up again. My tears seemed to be endless. I stifled my cries so I wouldn’t wake Soojin up. I covered my mouth with the palm of my hand and cried silently. I wish the night will end soon. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better.

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The morning came and I didn’t manage to get any sleep. My head is throbbing painfully and it feels like it’s going to explode. I’m completely awake but I decided to keep my eyes shut. The light from the window only adds to the painful and dizzy feeling. When Soojin finally woke up she asked, "Eunnie, are you ok?"

I managed a nod. I didn’t want to bother Eunjin anymore so I decided to leave. I pulled myself up so I can go to my own room and rest more. I don’t think I’ll be able to do much today with the terrible headache I’m having.

On my way to my room I saw my mom at the kitchen preparing breakfast. “Eunjin, come down here and have some breakfast before you go.”

I’m not in the mood to eat right now. For the last time I wanted to ask my mom what really happened 8 years ago. Before I completely gave up on everything, I have to at least know the truth.

“Mom, I broke up with Taemin.” She didn’t say anything as if she expected that much. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Still, she didn’t say a word.

I was about to give up when she said, “You’re better off without him, Eunjin.”

I smiled weakly then said, “Really mom? Do I look ok to you?” I guess she’s trying to make me laugh. My eyes are puffy from all the crying last night. One look at me and anyone can tell I’ve been through hell and back. “Can you at least tell me something? Anything? Don’t you think I deserve to know the truth?”

My mom sighed in frustration, “You really want to know the truth? Fine. I’m telling you the truth. You almost got killed by some people involved in illegal activities. And it’s all because of that person you call a friend. What kind of friend will put you in danger? Tell me.”

I knew from the look on her face that she believed every word of what she said to me. I didn’t. Even if my mind is telling me it could be the truth I still refused to believe it. “Enough, Mom. Please don’t make it more painful than it already is.” there must be some reason to it. I can’t just accept it. I had to know the truth. I’ve never been so desperate to get my memories back until now.

I couldn’t take it anymore so I walked away and headed to the direction that I know would give me the answers I’ve been looking for. I’m going to Gunsan, to the lighthouse where it all started. The last time I’ve been there I remembered a lot of things and this time I hope I’ll remember the rest of it.

But before I reached the door, everything around me went spinning, my head feels like it’s about to explode and with the little bit of strength left in me, I screamed from the pain. Then everything went completely dark.

When I woke up I was already at a hospital. I can hear the doctor and my parents talking. After awhile I heard the door opened. I realized they left and that I was now alone in the room. I didn’t want to open my eyes. The memories that I thought were gone forever are slowly coming back to me now. I cried again. I cried from frustrations, regrets, and most of all guilt. Why Taemin didn’t want me to learn the truth and why he was lying to me all this time, I completely understand everything now.