In My Heart

Melted steel- Part 15

It had been three weeks since they came back from Paris to the death of Inna, but Jalillah still remained at Inna's house. She barely talked to him when he visits and sometimes she just pretend to be asleep. He was going to see her today and ask her to please come back home. The garden she had planted was blossoming in her absence and so was his affection for her in his heart.

He closed for the day and left for Jalillah's place. There were no cars at the front of the house, and he was sure the people had stopped coming in for condolence visit or at least not in flocks.

In the living room, Jalillah was lying on the sofa. He could see Hajiya Rani and two other women seated on the sofa. He greeted them and sat down on the rug, five feet away from Jalillah. She did not look at him, not when he came in or greeted, not even when he sat close to her. How was he going to convince her about his feelings for her? He decided he was going to start by apologizing for everything and maybe she would listen to what he had to say.

The two women were leaving and Hajiya Rani stood up to see them off, so did Jalillah but she was asked unanimously by the women to stay behind. It was just the two of them, and the silence was mounting up.

"How are you Jalillah?" He asked when she did not answer, he continued to speak.

"Jalillah I came to talk to you about something important."

She did not acknowledge his talk but just sat looking into space.

"I am really sorry about everything, I truly am. Please come back home" There was no reply and her face was devoid of emotions. He could not guess what was going on in her head.

"This is my home," she said "I should have never left"

"I should have never put myself in this position, but now I know better, so I am not going back to 'your' home. I will not because anywhere is better than being with you. I have a home,-this is my home" and Jalillah walked out on Mo and left for her room.

He heard the bang on her room door, almost indicating to him not to follow her. He wanted to run after her, hold her and tell her he was her home and she was his, that he loved her but he was scared, scared it was too late and more so that he will be rejected once more by someone he loved.

He stood in the living room feeling despondent over what Jalillah had just said.

His pain was familiar, but this time, he brought it on himself, and the feeling of helplessness could not be compared to the heartbreak he felt years back. Mo knew that he will never be okay again. He had a chance to love again but he blew it.

*

Mo sat in his car on the driveway in the middle of the night. He could not help but compare the dark surroundings of the night with what he felt inside. He had been selfish and cared only for himself. How could he be so stupid?

He needs to make things right for Jalillah and for Him also. He felt responsible for how Jalillah had reacted. She looked like she had given up on love and he desperately wanted to rekindle her heart and bring back her pretty smile. He could only think of one person to call, AK.

AK had been in Lagos for the past months and had requested to head the legal unit over there. Although, Mo thought it was best to grant his request. Things have been awkward between them but he needed his best friend more than ever. He sat there looking at his phone, but he still could not call AK. They spoke after the wedding, but he was certain AK had at some point fancied Jalillah.

*

When he got to the office the next day, there was a letter for Jalillah.

"Sir this came in for Miss Jalillah," His secretary said.