She Made Me Fall in Love (A Synyster Gates Love Story)

Chapter Eleven

That next day, all of us parted ways and I was at my big empty house I got from the divorce against Michelle. She kept calling me all day, wanting me back, but I ignored it every time she called, no matter how many times it was.

I knew last night, someone brought me home. I think it might have been Matt and Val, but I did not remember.

I got up and looked out of my window. The sun was starting to set. I wasted the whole day, sleeping, now I was wide awake, with nothing to do. So I turned my tv on and put in the All Acces DVD my band made back in 2008. I knew this was going to kill me, seeing Jimmy. Us with him, talking about him. Before it really got started, I grabbed a bottle of Jack from my kitchen, then sat on the couch. One of my guitars were sitting at the end of the couch. I strarred at it until music started playing from the DVD drawing my attention to it. I made a bet with myself. Everyime one of us talked about Jimmy or he pop up on the screen, I'd take a drink.

By the time, that was over, I was out of Jack and out of tears. My phone started going off and I looked at it. It was Matt. I sighed and answered the phone.

"Yea?" -Me.

"Are you okay? We havent herd from you since you took off last night." -Matt.

"No, Im fine." -Me.

"Do you want to go out in a few? Go hang out at Johnny's or something?" -Matt.

"Im good. I dont really wanan go out." -Me.

"Why not?" - Matt.

"Im messing with my guitar man." -Me.

"Are you sure your okay?" -Matt.

"Yea, im okay. I promise." -Me.

"Your acting  how Jimmy acted.." -Matt.

"Matt, dude. I'll be okay." -Me.

"Okay, see you tomorrow then?" -Matt.

"Sure." -Me.

I hung up the phone and looked at my messages between Jimmy and I. I got so angery and tossed my phone to the floor. I just looked at the table with my empty bottle. Bad ideas started running threw my mind. I couldnt stand it. So i decided to try and take my mind off it and unload my tour bag. I hung all my pants up, put away my boxers and folded my shirts, till I relized I was missing a shirt.

"Where the fuck?" I said looking for it.

I was missing my white sleevless shirt I made a few years ago. I liked that shirt and I couldnt find it anywhere, till I figured out where it was. Cyndy had it. Great, now I was thinking about her.

I kicked my suitecase across my bedroom and stompped back int othe livingroom. I saw my old wedding ring, laying on the coffee table. I just starred at it. I was so pissed off at Michelle. I was pissed off at myself or giving into her last night. I was pissed for letting Cyndy slip threw my fingers. I had half the mind to call Zacky and see what he was feeling, but I couldnt find me phone, so I got more pissed off. I grabbed my guitar and slung it against the wall, busting a hole in the wall. I threw my guitar to the floor and sat back on the couch. I found my phone under the table and laid it ontop of it. I just starred at it, my wedding ring and empty Jack bottle. Three people stuck in my head and I couldnt get them out. So I decided, more boos.

I went into the kitchen and found a half empty bottle of vodka. It was the same vodka I drink with Cyndy. I turned the bottle up and had all of it gone by the time I made it back into the living room. I sat the empty bottle next to the empty Jack one and looked at them. More bad thoughts ran threw my head, this time, I couldnt get them out. I flashed backed to the day Jimmy died, then ran to the bathrom, but first, fell face first before I got out of the living room. I opened the mechine cabnet and grabbed a bottle of valiums and oxycode. I went back to the living room and sat them on the table next to everything else. I started to sit back down, but thought about something else, then went to my bedroom again. I dug threw my drowers, then made my way back into the living room, laying my semi automatic pistol on the table, as I sat down.

My phone went off again. It was Michelle.

I snatched the phone and answered it, "Stop calling me god damn it!"

Before she could say anything, I chucked my phone at the wall as hard as I could, shattering it everywhere.

I growled and looked at everything I had out on the table. Something was missing. I reached in my wallet and pulled out a photo of Jimmy and I when we were teens, sitting it on the table. Then I had another picture. One Cyndy and I took on the pier right before we got drunk. It was the only thing I had left of her. I laid it down on the table and looked at everything again. My mind was racing. Bad things ran threw my head. I wanted it to stop, but I wouldnt. I buried my face in my hands and cried.

Out of no where, my door was busted open. I quickly looked and it was Zacky. He eyed me for a long time, then at the table. A scared look came across his face.

"I wasnt going to do anything." I quickly said before he could say anything.

He shook his head and grabbed the gun and bottle of pills, "Really Brian?"

"I wasnt!" I yelled at him.

He pulled out his phone and started calling someone.

"Who are you calling?" I asked.

"Matt." He said as he walked into the kitchen.

I looked at the table at the pictures and my wedding ring.

"Come on dude." Zacky said coming back, "Were going to Matt's. Val to the kids and went to her parents."

I grabbed the pictures and stuck them in my walet, then grabbed my ring and followed him.

"Can we stop down at the dock real fast?" I asked Zacky as we got into the car.

He looked at me holding my ring.

He nodded his head, "Yea."

We arrived at the dock and Zacky stopped the car.

"I'll be right back." I said getting out.

I walked over to the end of the dock, over the ocean. I looked at my ring, then up at the sky. I needed to do this. Keeping this ring was eating me alive. I took a deep breath and tossed it out in the ocean. I pulled my walet out and got that picture of me and Jimmy out. I looked back up at the sky.

"Thank you Jimmy, for sending Zack over." I said as I dropped the picture to the water, "You knew I would have done it and you didnt want me too."

With that, I felt better. I stuck my walet back into my pocket and sprinted back to the car.

"Are you okay now?" Zacky asked me.

I nodded my head, "Almost. I just need to find Cyndy."

"I dont know what to tell you buddy." He said sadly.

I sighed and leaned my head against the window as we drove to Matts.