You Could Be Mine

Fighting You

I was moving my hand to my mouth when someone came up behind me and grabbed my wrist. I turned to see Izzy standing there staring at me. "What the fuck are you doing?" He said looking at me still holding my wrist. "I can't fucking do this anymore. I lost my parents and the man I love in one day! I have nothing left!" I said to him tears falling from my eyes. He just looked at me with a disappointed look then sighed before speaking

"You have a lot of things left. You have Axl, Duff, Matt, and I. We will never let those things happen to you." I looked at him and I moved to him for a hug. "But you need to come with me because Axl might hurt Slash. So we need to get to the hospital." He said holding me. I pulled away and looked at him confused "and you need to get your hand check out. Here ." He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around it. We then headed to the hospital to stop the fight that's going to happen.

It was still raining when we arrived to find the others in the parking lot and Axl yelling at Slash, then Slash yelling at Axl. I ran over to them with Izzy behind me, I went to Axl's side. "You are a fucking piece of work!" Axl screamed out pointing at Slash. "What the fuck are you yelling at me for!?" Slash said back. I stood there looking between the two, "You cheated on Pam! That's why I'm yelling at you. You're lucky I don't knock you out!" Axl yelled and the look on slash's face showed that he truly did cheat.

"Axl, please just walk away.." I said very quietly and calmly. Axl looked at me then backed away and joined the other three. I heard Izzy whisper something to Axl, and then I got a look of anger and confusion from Axl. I nodded slowly to let him know it was true, he looked down. "Pam.." I heard Slash say I turned to him and crossed my arms. "I don't have anything to say to you." I said with a tone of anger and frustration. "Just listen then." He said and I cut him off before he continued.

"You fucking cheated on me. After I was told my parents died. Who does that to someone that they apparently love?! Really I want to know." I said feeling my face getting hot. "I know I fucked up okay. After it happened I regretted it. I do love you." He said taking a step towards me, but I took a step back. "If you loved me you wouldn't have done that." I said turning around to join the others. "It was a stupid mistake." He said trying to play if off as if it was nothing.

I moved next to Axl "just stop." I said before turning and walking past the band towards the hospital entrance. I was soaked when I got inside and I asked the nurse to check out my hand. That was the last time I saw Slash.

May 1992

I had sold my parents house and I met a friend who let me live with her. Her name was Amanda. She loved Guns N Roses, but I never told her anything about me knowing them. I felt it would be better if she didn't know. One day I was in my room reading and the phone rang then stopped. A few minutes later Amanda called out "Pam, someone's on the phone for you!" I was curious to know who was calling me. "Who is it?" I asked as I walked towards the kitchen where she was. "Some William." She replied. I stopped dead in my tracks then started walking faster.

I picked up the phone "Hello?" I said and I heard Axl's voice on the other line say "finally." I covered the phone "Can I have a minute?" I asked her and she nodded leaving the room. "Axl? Why are you calling me?" I asked sitting at the table. "You need to come on tour with us. We have a situation." He stopped then took a deep breath to continue "Slash has gone over the deep end. Well so have all of us, but he is getting worse." I could sense in his voice it was true. "What do you mean by all of us..." I said my voice breaking at the end. "Yes we've been doing some drugs, but it's not that big of a deal." He said, I felt like a worried mother when he said that.

"Are you fucking serious? Axl what the fuck!" I said into the phone feeling my voice raise in volume.  "It's fine. Just come to our next concert and finish out the tour with us." He pleaded. I didn't know what to do. "How much longer is the tour?" I asked already regretting that. "It's only for another month." He said and I almost fell off the chair. "A month!?" I said in a loud voice, then Amanda came back looking concerned. "Fine. I'll do it. Where are we meeting?" I asked. He gave me the details and I hung up the phone.

"Fuck!" I said loudly, Amanda sat down in the chair by me. "What is going on?" She asked, I looked at her. "Amanda I have to tell you something. You can NOT freak out. I swear to god do not." I said giving her the look. She nodded "What is it?" I looked down at my hands then mumbled out "Axl Rose and I are childhood friends, he just called and asked me to go on tour with them, because my ex boyfriend so to speak, Slash, has gotten into some shit." I said it all so fast I myself didn't understand it.

"Holy shit. That was a lot to comprehend, but I say go for it. As long as you take me with when you have to meet up with them." She said smiling, I couldn't believe how understanding she was and how she didn't freak out. Usually someone who is a Guns N' Roses fan gets so excited if someone knows them, but not Amanda. I smiled at her and thanked her for understanding.

"I'm going to drive you there and watch you leave with them because this is an amazing thing." She said smiling then laughing. "If you say so." I said back then joined in her laughter. We spent the rest of the night drinking and packing. I couldn't believe I'm even doing this.

Two days later...

"Now do you have everything?!" Amanda asked me for the tenth time before getting in her car. "Amanda listen YES I have everything!" I said again putting emphasis on the yes. "Just double checking!" She said laughing a little. We got in her car and we headed towards the concert. I was so anxious I couldn't sit still the entire ride. Amanda got so annoyed with me she told me to take a Xanax.

We finally reached the venue and we parked near the back of it so we can have fast access backstage. I grabbed my bags and we went towards the door. We got in without a problem and when I saw Axl he came over to me giving me a huge hug. "Thank you for coming. Who's this?" He said getting side tracked by Amanda. "Oh this is my friend Amanda. She's a big fan." I said introducing the two and she smiled at him. "Well come on let's go see the others. They'll be happy to see you, but cautious around Slash. I don't know how he is today." He said as he led us to the bus.

My head was screaming what the fuck are you doing, but my heart was saying I just want to hold Slash and be with him. I needed to try to fight for him to be mine, not every other girl on this planet. I needed his commitment to me, and to what would happen in our future if we decided to stay together. We got to the bus and he opened the door Amanda went in first, and then I entered with Axl behind me. Here we go, just breath, it will be just fine