You Could Be Mine

Screaming and Yelling

It has been a month since slash finished the tour, and ever since losing the baby I've felt like our relationship has been rocky I laid in bed thinking about this. I looked at the clock and decided to get up and go for a run on the treadmill before it got too late. I got dressed into my shorts and sports bra then looked over at the bed Slash was still sleeping. I sighed then headed downstairs. We haven't had sex since before he left for tour, he felt distant, hell I've been distant too. Somethings got to happen here, and soon.

I finished running on the treadmill then decided to head up and take a shower. I got upstairs and saw Slash was standing in the doorway of the balcony. The doors were open letting the sun and wind blow the curtains. I stopped in the doorway looking at him "Are you okay?" I asked him, but he didn't seem to want to hear me. I walked over to him placing my hand on his shoulder "Saul?" I said, I figured using his real name would get him to listen to me. He had his eyes closed then he opened them looking at me.

"I'm fine." He said shooting me a look before walking out of the bedroom. I saw him leave the room and I decided to shower. I finished that and walked over to close the balcony doors, but I noticed he was outside playing his guitar. Looking at him I remember why I fell in love with him in the first place, but he seemed so cold lately. Ever since the funeral he has been cold to me. I can't take this anymore so I picked up the phone, I needed help. I dialed the phone hearing it ring a few times then I heard someone say "hello?" On the other side.

"Duff. I need to meet with you. I need your help." I said into the phone, I felt like he would give me the answer to this. "Of course, I can come pick you up in a few minutes." He replied to me and I agreed. I got dressed and headed downstairs. I opened the backdoor and called out to slash. "I'll be back in a few hours. I am meeting with Duff for some coffee and catch up." The words I said were just pointless because I got absolutely no response. I closed the door and then went out the front door seeing Duff just pull up.

The paparazzi forgot about us for some reason and stopped showing up at our house so I walked to the gate with no problems. I got in the car to Duff's smiling face "Hello sunshine!" He said to me with a cheerful voice. I laughed and smiled "Hello Blondie!" I said to him. He pulled away from the house driving onward. "So what's going on?" He asked me in a concerned voice. "What the fuck is wrong with Slash? Ever since the funeral he's been so cold to me. He won't even talk to me. It's been a month and all I get is dirty looks and attitude." I said to him and he pulled into a coffee cafe's parking lot

He put the car in park and turned to look at me. "He was acting strange the entire time the tour was happening. I wanted to ask you about it, but I figured it was because he lost his daughter." He said to me and then I put it together. "Do you think he blames me for what happened?" I asked him feeling my body tense up. He shrugged "he probably blames himself for not being there, but I don't see how that causes him to be cold to you." He said back to me. "Let's get some coffee and we can come back and sit in here and talk. How's that!?" He asked and I nodded.

We got our coffee and headed back to the car. We talked for about another hour and then he drove me back home. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead before I got out of the car. When he did that I felt loved and appreciated. Something was stirring inside of me and I pushed it down. I walked up to the house opening the front door walking in. I heard someone playing guitar, I set my purse down, closed and locked the door, then headed to the room where his guitars and amps were. The door was open and his back was to the door, I knew the song he was playing.

It was "don't cry" I started to have a flashback to the letter Axl sent me. I teared up, but held it back. I watched him play. He got so into it, he was dripping sweat, and when he finished he took his guitar off. He turned around and saw me standing there. We stood frozen just looking at each other, he was breathing heavily and I was trying not to cry. "How long were you standing there?" He asked me putting his guitar on the wall and turning off the amp. "The entire time." I said to him and he looked back at me. "We need to talk." I said to him in a demanding voice.

"About what?" He asked going to walk past me, but I stopped him. "About how you've been acting towards me. It's been a fucking month you can't keep being this way to me. I'm your wife." I said to him and he stopped in front of me looking over me. He was silent and didn't respond. "Why don't you talk to me? If you are pissed off that you weren't here to prevent our daughter from dying then tell me! Or is it because it's my fucking fault it happened!?" I said to him loudly not holding back. "I keep telling you I'm fine!" He said to me before walking around me. "You're not fucking fine! I know you Saul! This isn't you!" I yelled at him.

He kept walking away from him and I have had it with this, it's always put on me. "You know what fine. Fuck you! If you don't want to do this anymore tell me! I'll pack my shot and I'll go! Seems you prefer being alone than being with someone who loves you." I said to him walking over to my purse and going to grab my keys. "Don't you fucking dare!" He yelled at me, he put his arm up blocking my way. "Then talk to me! Stop this silent bullshit!" I screamed back at him. "Fine! I'm mad that I wasn't here to stop you from falling and opening the fucking doors!" He said to me.

I couldn't believe it, he could've just ended at falling, but he kept going. "You do blame me for this don't you!?" I asked him feeling tears well up in my eyes and I felt how tight my chest was. He went silent and I just looked at him "that's all I needed to hear." I said grabbing my keys and pushing past him to the garage. I ran over to the car went to get in and he shut the door on me "I don't blame you for it!" He yelled at me and I looked at him in anger "if you had to fucking think about it then truly you do." I said to him getting in the car and shutting the door locking it so he can't open it.

I hit the button to open the garage and I took off down the driveway like a bat out of hell. I headed towards Duff's place and I was so upset tears fell from my eyes. I pulled up to his place and I slammed the car in park. I bolted out of the car walking up to the door knocking on it like a crazy person. He opened the door and just looked at me in horror "What happened?" He said to me. Tears falling from my eyes and he embraced me in a hug. One hand holding my head and one moving over my back to try to calm me down.

He held me on the front step for a long time until I stopped crying. He looked down at me and wiped the tears from my eyes. His hands holding my face. "Don't cry." He said to me and I felt tears forming in my eyes again, but they wouldn't come out. I looked up to him and he slightly smiled wrapping an arm around my shoulders as he led me inside. He sat me down on the couch and sat next to me holding me and whispering "talk to me when you're ready to talk. I am here for you, Pam." I felt safe there in his arms just how I use to feel in slash's.