Monsters inside.

Chapter 6: Home.

Chapter 6: Home.
Remus

Remus looked at Sirius, sitting there besides him in the great hall. Merlin, he loved this man. And now it was his fault that in a couple of hours, Sirius would be on the hogwarts express, on his way home, to his parents. He had no idea how Sirius's mother found out about his..furry little problem. But she knew. And just like that, his christmas holiday with Sirius was destroyed. No late nights drinking tea in the common room, no giving each other presents on christmas day, no more Sirius stealing Remus' sweaters. All their christmas traditions were ruined, because of his furry little problem. Remus knew it wasn't his fault, if Remus' problem wouldn't exist Walburga would just only use hurting Regulus to get to Sirius. But still, Remus couldn't help but feeling guilty as he saw the boy he loved, sitting there, he didn't talk as he usually always did, not any arguing with James, not laughing his beautiful laugh, he just sat there. He didn't eat either, just sat.
"Siri please, you have to eat" Remus said. Sirius looked up.
"I am. I am eating." Remus gave him a look.
"No you are not. Look, I know you are nervous, but you have to eat."
"I'm not nervous!"
"Okay, okay. But you need to eat anyways." Sirius sighed and started eating on an apple.
"Happy now?"
"Very." Remus gave Sirius a sad smile and went back to eating his breakfast.
"Hey Remmie?" Remus looked up.
"Yeah?" He answered.
"I know you blame yourself for this, stop it. It's not your fault." Sirius knew him to well.
"But if it wasn't for me-" SIrius cut him off.
"Moons, it's not your fault that she is an evil bitch, it's not your fault that Im born into this family, it's not your fault that Walburga found out about your urry little problem, it's not your fault that you are a werewolf, and even if you weren't a werewolf, she would use Regulus, hurt him, if I didn't come. So please Re, please, stop blaming yourself. Its. Not. Your. Fault." If It were possible, in that moment Remus fell even more in love with Sirius Black.
"Sirius, I appreciate it, I really do, but you shouldn't be comforting me, I am not the one that are leaving hogwarts to spend christmas with people that call themself my family, but really are just-" Remus couldn't deal with this.
"I know, Remmie, I know. But I know you too. And you are blaming yourself for this." Sirius knew him to well.
"What if I am?"
"Please don't, it's awful enough already."
"Okay.." He could at least try...
"Thanks, now get back to your breakfast."
"You should too."
"You will never give up, right?"
"Never." Remus said and smiled. And to his surprise a small smile danced on Sirius lips, just for a minute, but Remus didn't miss it. Because when it was about Sirius, Remus didn't miss anything he did. He knew Sirius inside and out. His strengths, his weakness, he noticed all the details about him. Maybe it was because of the werewolf. Because of his werewolf abilities, but maybe it was just because he was in love, but however it was, he noticed everything about Sirius. And now, when Sirius smiled, even in this hard situation, Remus could help but think, that maybe, just maybe, Sirius loved him back too. Not as a brother, as something more.

Sirius

On the hogwarts express it was lonely. Remus was staying at Hogwarts, as every christmas holiday, as Sirius usually did too. As Sirius should be doing. If it weren't for that fucking bitch, Walburga Black. She destroyed his holiday, and Sirius wasn't happy about it. Not at all. James and Peter was on the train too, James had offered to stay with Remus, but since Remus said it was okay, James was going home too. But even thought day were there, Sirius felt alone, he missed Remus. He just sat silent the whole time, James and Peter talked but they seemed to notice Sirius' lack of energy. He just felt so, awful. He didn't want to be here. He didnt wanna be on his way to the house that he was supposed to call home, to the people he was suppose to call family. When really his only home was Remus, and his only family was his marauders. But no, he didn't even get his favourite holiday with his Remus. He had to go, for Regulus, but mostly for Remus.

He got of the train at kings cross station. At once he saw his parents, standing there. Tall and scary, black clothes, black hair and with the beauty he had got from them. Sirius wanted to run, away, away, home. to his Remmie. Home. But instead he hugged James and gave Peter a tap on the shoulder and walked up to them.
"Sirius." Walburga said.
"Mother." He said, with a cold voice. "Father."
"I would say I'm happy to see you, but I'm not." His mother continued.
"Then why did you make me come?"
"Because I don't wanna have to explain your absence to our family members." Sirius wanted to kill her. Threatening him, threatening his brother, his Remus, just for this. Then Regulus came up to them.
"Mother, father." He said. Walburga gave him a smile, it was fake, but she tried. She had never done that with Sirius. Regulus looked over to him.
"Sirius."
"Hey brother." Sirius said. Not cold, but not warm either.
"Stop with the talking now," Walburga said, "Let's go home." Home, Sirius wished he was going home. But instead, he was on his way to his own personal hell.

When Sirius came to Grimmauld place he took his stuff and was just about to walk up to his room, when he heard his mother talking to him.
"Sirius."
"Yeah mother?" He said and turned around to look at her.
"You got those, from your...special friend..this summer."
"And why do you give them to me now?"
"Because I suppose you have already talked to him, unfortunately. It's no harm in giving you those now, I thought that if you guys didn't talk under the break, you would leave him. But that didn't happen. So here you go, there was only two, I suppose he understood that I took them.."
"Yeah..." Sirius said and took the letters, was this the letters Remus talked about a while ago? What did it mean? He walked up to his room and sat down on his bed. Just looked at the letters for a while. Remus handwriting. Then he opened the first one and started reading.

July 13 1976
Hey Siri,

I know you probably won't answer this. Maybe that why I am writing to you, because I know you won't answer this letter. You probably won't even read this, I mean your mother will probably burn this before you even know i sent it....