Will You be mine, again?

Chapter 34 Truths and Reasons

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I am shaking in fear, I sit down on the couch and Mrs.Chase handles me a glass of water and I take it and take a big gulp out of it.
She smiles at me sadly and says "I am so sorry, I thought he became fine. Trust me when I say after we moved back here, he was doing really well and also after you guys started to date. He was really showing very good signs. I don't know what triggered him dear. I am really sorry you had to see that."

I am currently feeling shit would be understatement. I am feeling so selfish, and I was so stupid. But can you blame me I had no idea about it.

But what I can do now, damage is done. Mrs.Chase places an hand over my shaking hands and says "It's not your fault dear."

That's the cue, the water bay of tears started flowing mercilessly. I was weeping and crying. I am really a mess right now.

She starts to rub circles in my back and keeps on saying "It will be alright."
I shake my head and wipe my tears harshly and say "No Mrs.Chase it's because of me, I...I broke up with him that's what broke him. I am sorry." My words break in the end.

She nods her head and says "Tell me of its mother's intuition, I kind of knew you are going to break up with him. That's what I was scared of the entire evening. But when I saw the little kisses you had and the long looks you gave him. I thought I was wrong. But...."

I place my hands over hers and say softly "I am sorry! I don't know it's just that..."
She shushs me and says "It's ok child, I have been in your position before. You have nothing to be sorry of. It happens."
I nod my head and place it over her shoulders. Though we met like couple of hours before. I truly feel like home with her.
She says "This started when his dad passed away last year, he used to always become literally into another person. Lily was very scared of that person. Poor child had nightmares after he witnessed that horrific times.
Often he started going into that phase when he is extremely sad and when is that, it's when he starts to think about his father. Initially it was like that, then it became whenever something triggering happens around him like low marks or when someone said some harsh stuff towards him. What really helped was football. That's why we moved here as the school had a very good name for the game.
Everything was fine until...."

I complete it by saying "Until today aren't I?"
"No dear it's not today, 2 days back I introduced him to my boyfriend and he didn't take that too well, it's true that it had only been a year since Ben died. But I am too a woman aren't I? I do have feelings right! Is it wrong to find someone. And Steve is really a good guy, he was so understanding when I talked about the kids and he was so eager to meet them. But Ethan lashed out so badly. Good thing I controlled him or..."
"It's fine, it's ok. Thank god nothing like that happened."
She nods her head and sighs out loud and places her head on couch handle and says "I don't know what to do with him?"
That's when her phone rings and it's Ethan. I panic and she shakes her and cancels the call and says "This is our cue, he calls me when he feels normal. Come let's go. It's safe now dear."
She chuckles in the end but I just give her a sad smile and walk with her to the room but before entering I say "What if he sees me again and..."

"Hmm... that's right how about we meet tomorrow?" She says I nod my head and leave to go towards the door and that's when my phone rings and I look down to see it's Ethan. I show it to his mom she smiles and says "I guess he wants you to be here as well."
I nod my head and we open the door.

Ethan is sitting calmly in the edge of the bed and he perks his head up, when we come in. And when he sees me I see a lonely tear sliding down his face. Though my hands are itching to wipe them off I stay put in my space.

I hear Mrs.Chase say "Don't worry go talk to him. It will be fine."
She closes the door on her way back and I awkwardly stand in the middle of the room not knowing what to do.

I hear him say "I am sorry Savannah!"
That was my cue I ran up to him and sat on the ground in front of him and placed my hands on his cheeks and I said "There is nothing for you to be sorry of, I am really one who has to tell you sorry. I didn't think about your condition and I became very selfish...."
He comes down to kiss me now. And I allow him to, I know it's shitty and I don't feel anything when we move our lips in sync. I guess he sensed it as well.
He moves back and says "That's it huh! This is how we end."
I say "No don't tell like that, it's not we have to be couple to be with each other. I will always be tour side as a friend. Trust me."
He looks at my eyes earnestly and I am really sad to see a very scared boy. He looks really disturbed.
He looks away telling "Don't Sav, I don't want your pity. I saw it lit from my family. I don't want now it from you as well."
I shake my head and catch his hands . He looks at our intertwined fingers and at my face. I say "What pity you?
No I am very proud of you. It's really great how you kept your sanity all these days. It's not bad what you felt. Everyone snaps at everyone when they lose their cool. You don't like that your mom is dating someone else and also that I...."
He shakes his head and gets up from his place. And says "Its not like that Sav, it's not even a full year and she already started to see someone else. Was it that easy to forget my dad. My dad was the best you know. He used to always be with us, play with us. We used to go for long trips, holidays used to be the best. And now.."

I just walk up to him and hug him from the back. He turns around and tucks me under his chin and says "It's ok Sav, you don't have to deal with my shit. You have your own problems."
I look him up from ten chest and say "No Ethan I am going to stay and there is nothing you can do about it so suck it up."

I hear him chuckle and he hugs me tighter and we stay like that for sometime until, Lily barges in followed by Mason and says "Oh my god, they are sharing cooties!" She says and runs away. We laugh at their childishness and just get lost in our minds.
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Hey guys another long chapter.
Hope you liked it
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