Silenced by the Night

Kissed you in your sleep

Jessica was banging on the locked door in Nathan’s room. There was a feeling in my lips that wasn’t supposed to be there. The banging continued. I stood up and opened the door.

“Thank God, I thought no one was gonna get up and open this door”

“What are you up to Jessica?”

“I put you in my naughty list for sleeping with Nathan over the night”

“OK, I’ll go out the room just don’t wake up mister cranky over there”

“I heard what you said”

I mimicked what he said and went downstairs following Jessica.

“Ellie, someone’s here for you”

“Who is it?”

“It’s me”

Paige went in the kitchen; her hair was dyed blonde; slightly curled and cut. Her lips had the slight amount of lip-gloss on them. Her lashes were darker; her eyelids had a slight of color of scarlet.  

“Hello Paige, why did you all of a suddenly change? Are you going somewhere?”

“No, Caroline just told me to wear this so… how are you doing?”

“Everything’s fine… Just tell them I’ll be home in a few days”

That evening it was hard for me to sleep. Nathan was also awake looking up at the ceiling. His soft eyes looked towards me and back to the ceiling. The look in his eyes was so strange; it was like he waited for me to go to sleep.

I turned to the other direction and fell sleep. After a small period of time the feeling on my lips came back. It was stronger than anything. Stronger than when Caroline use to slap me and my face would bleed.

Jessica was looking at Nathan awkwardly hours ago, when it was still afternoon. Her look was wary. Sure, every little girl does that when they want something. Paige came over this morning, Caroline called for me before noon, Caylah sent me a letter and Hanna had given me a new dress to wear someplace.

Things were happening more often. I wasn’t in my attic bedroom staring at my father’s drawings; I wasn’t cleaning the pool in the cabana not even mopping the floor because of some random guy’s footprint.

“Good Morning Nate”

He gave me a smile after my small greeting and went into his bathroom. The covers were scattered on the bed, few of his pillows were already on the floor, and some of them were on the bed I was sleeping in.

“Nathan, after you get out of that bathroom, please clean your bed”

“I will, don’t worry”

I waited outside the door and he went out, he put the covers back on place and neatly put the pillows back as well. I went into the bathroom and did those usual morning routines.

There was no clue about that light, heavenly feeling on my lips. Jessica kept looking at me while she was taking every spoon of her cereal. Nathan was just glancing at me while he was reading a newspaper.

“Ellie, can we have a small talk?”

I followed Nathan to the kitchen and sat down on the counter. His hand intertwined with mine. The feeling grew stronger by the minute we were staying there. Holding hands and having eye contact at each other.

He leaned forward still at eye contact. My heart was beating normally, my stomach wasn’t aching, my head didn’t have any thoughts, my hand wasn’t trembling, and I didn’t feel the slightest ray of awkwardness. His lips suddenly crashed on mine, the heavenly feeling was going back. My feeling grew lighter while it lasted long.

“Ah hello, a nine year old is watching the both of you”

I pulled away and looked at Jessica who was standing in the doorway.

“I see what you wanted to talk about Nathan; that was bad”

“Don’t you dare tell mum or I’ll tell every fairy I don’t believe in them”

She turned around and walked to the living room. I shrugged and looked right at him who was looking at my trembling hands.

“Why did your hand stop trembling when I kissed you?”

“Don’t know, it’s awkward”

Jessica went back in the kitchen holding mine and Nathan’s jacket.

“Mariah and I are having a play date and mum told me that the two of you lovebirds are taking me to the playground”

Mariah kept on showing me the insects she kept catching while they were playing around the park; while Mister Cranky beside me was a bit melodramatic. He would scoff when Mariah or Jessica was showing me a butterfly, a beetle or maybe a caterpillar. OK, this is one thing you don’t know about me; I really love kids. There was a sudden cry behind the swings, curls like Jessica.

“OK, who’s crying?”

“No you notice mister cranky”

I walked towards her and looked at who was crying.

“Nate, did you bring the first aid kit? ‘Cos Jessica just scrapped her knee”

He didn’t look away from what he was reading.

“Come on, maybe it’s time for us to go home”

Nathan was fast asleep; his head was looking at the other direction from me. It was shivering cold, but I was worried about Paige; even my father’s drawings. How if Caroline ripped off the drawing off my wall? Those were the only thing I was worried about.

I closed my eyes and thought about what was happening to my room. I did lock it before I left. The key was still in the pocket in my bag.

Sure, Paige would tell me if Caylah or Caroline broke into my room. Nathan had become a mystery lately. He didn’t care about Jessica being scraped on the knee, or anyone being hurt. He wouldn’t listen to what I said while we were watching those two little girls in the playground.

Thoughts ran in my head faster even though I was already asleep. I felt like I was awake because of what I was thinking. It was all about Nathan; Nate becoming this, Nate becoming that.

My first kiss ran back to me, in my bedroom. Caroline suddenly showed up in the doorway and she made a deal with him to not talk to me.  

There was another light feeling. It was making every hard thoughts go out my head. I wasn’t yet in a deep sleep. This doesn’t usually happen. I’ve never felt anything like this for many years. The last time I felt light and relieved was when my father actually brought me to ballet class.

Thoughts were flying away every second the feeling would last. I opened my eyes and saw Nathan in front of me. My lips locked with his. I may have a huge crush on him but I couldn’t believe how he could return that.

Has he been kissing me in my sleep?