Silenced by the Night

Teenage Years

I tied my hair in a ponytail and applied a small amount of clear mascara. Nathan was waiting for me outside my room. These days, we were different. Instead of talking about Caroline or Jessica; we were talking about what we were gonna do after school. They would now still think we were dating. The rumors grew stronger every year we were together.

Nathan was more popular than me; Paige wasn’t talking to Alice in school; Jacque wasn’t bothering me anymore; Caylah was out of the group; Alice had new friends and Jessica was now in the same school as us. Jessica now has a crush. She never stopped bragging about him.

“Jessica, your backpack”

She approached us and grabbed her bag from my hands. Jeez, I can tell she’s excited to see her new crush.

“What does she love about Peter anyway?”

Nathan shrugged and went out the car. Peter is Jessica’s new crush. He’s the one she can’t stop bragging about.

We were in the library writing down a report for our Science class. Nathan was focused on the book, his lips were moving whilst he was reading every word softly. Both of us were thirteen year olds.

“So where are you heading after school? I mean its Friday”

He bit his lips whilst he was still gazing at me.

“I don’t know what about you, Nate?”

“Home, I’m preparing for a party I’m throwing. You know, celebrate the Fridays”

OK, this is awkward. Nathan doesn’t throw parties just to celebrate the weekends. Well, he’s a teenager, every teenager loves the weekend.

“Are you coming tonight?”

“Why not, Caroline’s not home so I’ll spend the night entertained”

He was acting completely awkward. Sure, I still couldn’t get over the fact that I was the one he fancies. But he might have ended his feeling now that we were at teenage years.

Evening came. I didn’t wanna come to Nathan’s party. Many popular kids were there; he might have thought of games that it was hard for any nerd to go through. Now that he’s popular, he might even start ditching me.

“Ellie, come one; we’re going to Nathan’s party. Do you wanna come?”

“I don’t know Paige; I don’t feel comfortable around him anymore”

“What do you mean?”

 There was anxiousness on her voice. Worry on her eyes. I actually felt secure and safe with Nathan.

“Come one maybe you can talk to him”

Me? Talk to him? Will he even listen? My eyes were tearing up, my throat was becoming dry. Paige was waiting in the doorway for me to get ready. Nathan never did throw a party for the weekends. This might be his first time. The only day he might have thrown a party for a wanted day to finally come.

“Paige, I’m not coming. Just tell Nathan I feel a bit sick and I can’t come”

She nodded lightly and went out the door.

In school Nathan wasn’t around. I would see him in the parking lot, the cafeteria or maybe in the hall. Now he doesn’t show up to me. I would see him with a couple of guys or so, this never happened to him before, Paige tried telling me when we were at my house that he was starting to ditch me. But I didn’t wanna listen to her; he couldn’t be ditching me, is he?

The cafeteria remained quiet for a long time. Nathan was with those boys again making trouble in the hall or maybe even wrapping the principal’s office with bubblewrap. The boys came in with Nathan laughing and whispering something each other. He glanced over me and looked back to the boys and continued laughing. My eyes were already tearing up; I stood up and ran out the school. I didn’t care if the principal called Caroline just to tell her I was cutting classes.

My best friend was ditching me. Why do teenage years even have to come? That time in Tahiti, didn’t he remember anything? We made bracelets made out of the shells we’ve found there. He might have even taken off the bracelet I made for him. The pearls on mine weren’t even smudged with anything that can make it look old. 

I sat down on the grass whilst staring at the pearled bracelet on my wrist.

“Ellie”

There was a voice behind me, it was so familiar. I turned around and saw Caylah standing there, a smile was formed on her lips.

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m fine, I saw you run away from school. What’s going on?”

“You don’t wanna know”

“Right, I don’t. Come on let’s just go back to school”

“I don’t wanna go to school anymore”

“Why not, I thought you loved school?”

“Because… I don’t wanna go… I don’t like it there anymore”

“I get it; OK, I’ll just tell the our teacher that you felt a bit ill so you went home”

“Thank you Caylah, that doesn’t make any sense”

She just smiled and sat down beside me.

Caylah skipped to my room, her hair was tied in a fishtail braid and she was wearing an over-sized shirt and mid-thigh shorts.

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing, just keeping your company whilst Nathan is gone; P.S. you are noticing he’s ditching you, right?”

“I didn’t believe Paige, but I think she’s right”

“Everything’s right Ellie, when you are friends with a boy and he’s already a teenager. Ditching starts”

“Shut up”

She sat down on the single bed beside the window and threw the pillows at me. Nathan’s scent was still imprinted on it.

Paige, Caylah and Melody were walking with me in school. Melody lives three houses away from us. So, she was new in the school and she’ll feel welcomed with all of us. Nathan walked by, with the group of boys he was always with, and gave us a smile. It wasn’t a fake one but I missed the warm smile.

“Isn’t that Nathan?”

Melody whispered in my ear. I nodded and looked at Caylah.

“Why isn’t he with you anymore?”

“He changed. You know how boys are when they’re already teenagers”

We were all waiting for our teenage years. But we never expected on being ditched by our best friends. Nathan was a great friend, I’d always trusted him. But I trust someone worth trusting. Worth being loved.

So much of growing up is an unbearable waiting. Is this a constant longing for another time?