It's finally hitting me, the good feels are gone. It's dawning on me how unsuccessful I'm going to be.
I've no time for anything, I'm not going to pass illustrator. When would I study?? Cuz free time is for resting, and working when I'm tired( from track) just makes me sleepy anyway. I've no confidence I can pass. I did gmetrix every morning near the time I took the test last year and I still wasn't close to passing it then. shii my gf did better than me. AND I STILL NEED HELP WITH SHIT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. easy stuff.
I'm not gonna get multi-media illustrator as my mos in the army, I'm dumb, why am I even joining when I've got no knowledge of anything. I'm not going to want to do an MOS unrelated to the art field.
I literally can't do shit cuz I don't know shit about anything important. All I can do is draw cartoons with a pen, that's literally not a reliable skill for anything work-related if its the ONE THING I CAN DO.
prom prep: that's silly that you think I care about prom...It's just something I'm forced to care about. All I wanna do is go there looking simple and maybe dance. I don't wanna get all super dolled up. Gonna have the most boring prom stories compared to everyone else who'll go out to restaurants' and hotels afterwards.
track: FUCC IT, AAAAAGHHHHH, I heart it but im so unmotivated, there's nothing truly driving me. I've got no inspiration, I barely have faith in my team cuz all anyone cares to do is NOT SHOW UP and when they do show up they DONT WORK. And everyone's NASTY at times, it's so uuuughhhhh. AND THE FRIGGEN WEATHER
school work: as the great cringe, The Internet, would put it: *crying*
Last semester of my high school life begins Monday...
Graduation is the finish line, hopefully, I feel better then...and have things more figured out.
As a senior I'd have to say I'm so ready.
