I think alot about how people see me.
I find myself cringing at alot of things i like compared to what others like.
I think TOO much about how im being seen.
I dont want to look uncool, or i dont want peeps to think im uncool.
Im not happy with myself it seems
i think i need time to like love myself, or learn to feel better bout myself because i just do alot of hiding out of being ashamed
or out of being shy
and out of fearing how ill be seen.
It's not even that big a deal, so many people are so open, at times too open. It doesn't bother me (unless its become obnoxious or i just dont like the peep) so why am I scared to openly be myself.
part of it is introversion, is that a word? Im an actual introvert, i really absorb energy from being alone.
and yet i want friends. (chill pals tho)
I think im not open bout my tRuE personality and shii cuz im awkward and i dont know how to speak, also the fact that i dont want to get into a conversation w/ you, guy i dont know.
So perhaps its just, its already hard to be yourself if you arent the extroverted type. how does one act true to themselves in small talk?
Sometimes i wanna talk about my interests while at the same time not wanting to get into a conversation.
I think i really lucked out with you bitch, hayley, my main and i think only reader cuz i swear the other reads are just...idk what they are
Being a person whos v scared all the time of how peeps are viewing you and then meeting such an accepting and loving person who doesn't really care bout wut ur like or judge you, thats brine.
Non judgmental and acceptance is wut a nigga needs amiright lololololololololololololololololol
just did that^^ for attention, right,
i feel like I'm accepting and judgy, it's selective. When i don't care ill accept whatever, when im in the mood to care the judgment comes out. It's a sham, someone so afraid to be judged is a person who judges others.
Like a bully whose treated wrong at home and decides to treat peeps wrong at school
i wanna be be cooooool, blahh,
this is y i heart dan and phil
they aren't necessarily cool, they nerdyy, but they are cool to each other seeing as they get along well and like alot of the same things.
I don't need to appear cool to strangers or peeps I just met, it would be better to be myself and let the peeps who like me like me, and ignore the peeps who get at me for "acting white", appearing to be a smol fragile innocent being or be genuinely bothered by my interests in undertale/steven universe/dan and phil T-T the good ol classic interests.
blahhh
BLAHHH
IM FEELING BLAHH
imma go eat mah cheetos and watch some jenna marbles cuz shes my whole queen
bye bye
