Why Don't We Sickfics

Transgender

Daniel was a good kid.

He always said his "please" and "thank you." He would wake up on time and he loved school. He tried his best in everything he did, no matter what it was. And he always wanted to put a smile on his friends' faces.

Everyone thought he was the perfect child, especially his parents. His father, a devoted pastor, doted on him. He always stood out for his good manners, politeness, and overall charm.

But early in his life, Daniel realized he wasn't as normal as he thought. He shied away from ballgames and was tentative around other boys on the playground. His teachers and his parents labeled him as "shy", but that wasn't how Daniel felt. He was just... confused about where he fit in. His older brothers, Tyler and Christian, would gladly play all the sports in the world and Daniel didn't want to do that. His little sister, Anna, would be alone with her dolls, and Daniel didn't want to be teased if he played with her. He spent a lot of time alone on the playground, nobody to play with.

So he found a different resolve; music. Nobody teased him for playing his guitar during lunch; in fact it often drew a small crowd, which brought Daniel some friends. He was totally comfortable where it was just the music and him, and he didn't have to worry about not being like the other kids. 

Nonetheless, he grew up closer to Anna than to anyone else in his family. He would dance with her in their backyard until they were dizzy from spinning and fell into a tangled heap on the ground, laughing until their stomachs hurt. She would play dress up with him, dolling him up in her dresses and doing his makeup and adorning him with her plastic jewelry. He enjoyed it a lot more than he thought he probably should. But he loved his little sister, and when she was happy, he was happy.

When he entered middle school, he made Anna stop dressing him up. It made him feel like less of a boy. It was too embarrassing. He wanted to be seen like his peers, like an ordinary guy. What Anna didn't know, was that sometimes when she was out with her friends, Daniel would sneak into her room and play dress up all by himself. He wondered what it would be like to be a girl, to have long hair and wear dresses and jewelry and look pretty.

Eventually, he figured out who he thought he was.

He was gay.

As the child of a pastor-- the seemingly perfect child of a pastor-- Daniel was careful not to let anybody know. He was ashamed by it. His brothers would talk about the pretty girls in high school, and Daniel would try to leave the conversation as soon as possible. They tried to set him up with a girl from church, but they were only friends and he managed to keep it that way.

The day before he left for L.A. permanently to be with the band, he decided to come out to his parents.

It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done.

Daniel's parents received the news much better than he'd expected them to. They were accepting of him, even though he knew they weren't the happiest about it. He didn't sleep a wink that night. It wasn't because he was nervous about joining the band, but because he was trying to eavesdrop on his parents' conversation in the kitchen. They were talking about him, of course. He couldn't hear much aside from muffled voices, but it was reassuring to know that nobody cried, nobody shouted, nobody sounded angry about it.

Or maybe they did react that way, but they waited until he was gone.

Either way, it felt a lot better being able to come out, and then to be away and not have to feel the judgmental pressure right at the start.

His family ignored the topic of his sexuality every time he visited home. Daniel was okay with that, so long as there wasn't any awkward conversation. When he started dating his bandmate Jack, he brought Jack home and his parents avoided asking uncomfortable questions. They got along with Daniel's boyfriend, they liked him.