Play It Safe (A Kendall Schmidt Fanfic)

Chapter 24

Logan came down eventually and they drove me home. I got upstairs with only a few glances from some of the other residence or from the staff, but most of them smiled at me as usual. I walked upstairs, wrapped my cast up and then went to sit in my shower with the clothes from last night still on me. I sat with my knees up to my chin and the water falling onto me with the water making my hair stick to my face.

I was hoping to wash away my regrets but they only seemed to absorb the water and become greater in size. After an hour in the shower, I took off the clothes and showered for real this time. I was still upset and laid in bed after putting on some sweats and a hoodie. I was curled up under the covers with my wet hair sticking to the pillow and to my head. I cried until I fell asleep.

The next thing I knew, there was banging on my door and then it sounding like keys coming to unlock the door. I jumped out of bed and walked into the living room. Sure enough Gabby was unlocking my front door with her key. She was now in her own clothes and Logan was behind her.

"What the hell is all the banging for?" I asked annoyed. Gabby's eyes looked me over and then looked as if she was going to cry herself.

"We've been calling you for an hour. I have, Logan has, Carlos, Alexa, Dustin, even James and Kendall." She said walking towards me carefully. I ran a hand through my hair which felt like it was disgusting even though I had showered. Logan took a step forward as well.

"Kendall, he called about six times he said. Then he came over and knocked on the door but he never got you to answer it even though your car was here and I said I dropped you off. James called. Everyone was worried sick. We just wanted to make sure you were okay." He explained. I laughed.

"Little rich girl is fine." I said slumping down to the wall and plunking down on the floor. Gabby walked slowly in her Jordan's to kneel down in front of me.

"Don't call yourself that." Gabby told me.

"Why not? You did? Little rich girl gets everything she wants handed to her. Then when she wants the one thing she only ever desired, it doesn't want her back! Then I pull a typical little rich girl move by getting drunk and having sex with anyone with a pulse!" I said looking at my cast where a green glow bracelet still hung on it. I ripped it off and threw it across the room in a fit of anger before the tears came over me. I reflected upon my childhood then. How my parents never once said 'I love you' or even were around enough to say three words period to me.

"All I wanted was to feel loved. To feel like someone wanted me here. I finally thought someone, I thought Kendall wanted to be with me, to love me, but then he doesn't. He doesn't want me. Now he probably wouldn't want to be friends with me because I just threw myself away on some random guy I didn't even know!" I yelled as tears blurred my vision.

Gabby's arms were around me as I cried hysterically. I couldn't fathom myself at this moment. I could honestly say I hated myself. I always thought numbers nine or ten would've came before six happened but I had proven myself wrong. I had become one of those girls who had sex out of a drunken or upset whim.

This wasn't the face of rebellion, it was the face of spiraling out of control or getting too emotionally involved with someone who didn't even know you had feelings for them. Logan and Gabby stayed all night long. Logan would excuse himself to the bathroom every time someone called and I assumed it was Dustin, Carlos, Kendall or James calling.

"Yeah, she's fine. I don't know. Okay. I'll check. Okay. Why don't you just come over and ask her? Okay! Sorry." Logan said loudly from my bedroom as I could hear after Gabby fell asleep on the couch. Soon he walked back out and looked down at Gabby.

"I guess it's okay she stays here tonight?" He asked me sitting in the arm chair opposite the couch. I nodded numbly.

"Who were you talking to on the phone?" I asked suddenly. I caught Logan off guard so he had no choice to come up with a lie.

"Kendall." He answered watching me carefully.

"What'd he want to know?" I asked him. He debated internally a moment whether to tell me or not but he told me anyway.

"He wanted to know if you wanted to talk? He says he's sorry for what he said-" he started into the whole 'he's sorry' speech. I shook my head and put up my hand.

"I don't want to hear it. He wants to say sorry about telling me he doesn't like me now that he knows I spiraled out of control? No. I don't need his sympathy." I told Logan. Logan shook his head and his eyes looked like doe eyes before getting hit by a car.

"No, that's not what he was sorry for." He said.

"You told him I slept with that guy? Didn't you?" I asked him. He looked away for a second and then nodded. I shook my head.

"Yes, but he-" he started as tears formed in my eyes again.

"Get out." I told him sternly.

"Wait, what? Why?" Logan asked innocently.

"Get out of my damn apartment!" I hollered waking Gabby up. Logan looked upset, but did as I had told him. He grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door. Gabby sat up just as the door slammed shut with Logan on the other side of it.

"What the hell just happened?" She asked.

"I'm done with Big Time Rush." I mumbled getting up and walking into my bedroom and slamming the door just as Logan had did with the front door.