Chapter One.

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I do apologize in advance for the poor grammar. I am using my tablet, and it seems to have a mind of its own.

xxx

"Memphis, just let me help you!" I scream, pounding my fists repetitively on the motel bathroom door.

"Go away October. I don't need nor want your help. if I needed anyone's help I'm sure I would have asked a long time ago. I'm done. I can't do this anymore." He replies, sadness coating each word.

All I could do is stand in silence. Unaware on how to heal my older brother's sadness and pain. "Please don't leave me here alone. I won't make it without you, Memphis." I state quietly as tears of agony fall silently down my face.

"You'll be able to do it. I believe in you, our parents believe in you, everyone does. You're going to do what I couldn't... Live. Remember how proud of I am of you, and that no matter what, I will always love you. I'm so sorry October." He whispers softly through the door.

"NO MEMPHIS! PLEASE! PLEASE LET ME IN!" I sob before beginning to bang on the doorway again.

After silence hung in the air for a bit to long, I began to hurl myself at the bathroom door.

Bang!

I stopped trying to break the door down, my breath was sucked right out of my lungs, my heart did a flip flop before shattering in a billion pieces and stopping.

"Memphis?" I ask quietly, not moving and just gawking at the door. Just like before no reply.

My brain finally started to function as short raspy breaths left my mouth and I ran to the motel phone. Quickly dialling 9-1-1, waiting extremely impatiently for an answer.

"Hello, 9-1-1, what's your emergency?" An older lady asks calmly.

The tone of her voice made my blood boil for some reason. How can you be calm?! I shouted furiously in my head. "MY BROTHER JUST SHOT HIMSELF! HE NEEDS HELP! SEND SOMEONE PLEASE!" I scream frantically into the telephone.

I heard shuffling on the other end of the phone before I received an answer, "Okay Miss. Calm down. I traced your call, paramedics and the police are on their way as we speak-" I hung up before she could reply and ran back to the bathroom door.

I continued my attempt to break the door down, with the same result as before. I slide down on the door, my sobs wracking my chest. How could you do this to me? I thought to myself painfully.

I'm not exactly sure how long I was like that, the next thing I knew a rough looking police officer was carrying me out of the motel room as another one was breaking down the door. As I was being carried out of the room, I took a quick glance over the officers shoulder to see the door being broke down and the paramedics rush in to my brother... or his corpse. Seeing the blood everywhere, the lifeless body, the paramedics leaning down and shaking their heads... something snapped in me. I let out the most high pitch scream before pushing pass the officer, who carried me out moments ago, and ran to my now lifeless brother. I through myself on top of him, sobbing like never before.

"No Memphis. You're not dead. You're just sleeping. That's it. Please, please just wake up!" Choking each word, clinging onto his bloodied shirt.

I felt a pair of strong arms grab a hold of my waist, gradually pulling me away from my brother. Shaking my head, I tried to hold onto him tighter, but weakly my arms gave up on the fight. I was escorted outside and sat in the front seat of one of the cop cars.

"Is there anyone I can call for you, your parents maybe?" A younger male officer asked me softly as he got down on one knee in front of me.

Sobbing uncontrollably, I slowly nodded my head before giving him my parents number.

The crowd began to start growing bigger, aggravating me. Get a fucking life! Leave my brother alone! A million different things raced through my mind as I just sat there, waiting for my parents to arrive. Then all of a sudden I could hear a familiar scream.

"Mom?" I yelled in a raspy voice, scanning the now large crowd. Then I spotted her and my father, fighting their way through the crowd to the police line.

I ran quickly over to them, the police officer letting the through, the both of them wrapping me in the biggest hug they have ever given me.

"October..." My mom sobbed out, holding me at arms length, looking over my shaking body and bloody clothing before taking me in her arms again. Allowing me to just cry and cry as she joined in.

My dad stood quietly, arms around both my mother and I. I peered up at him, his usually very strong features faltering, silent tears falling freely from his eyes as he watched his son, his only son, being brought of the motel room in a body bag.

We stood like this for an hour before finally leaving. Once we were in our car, my dad began the engine, slowly making our way back to our house.

It was then I decided we would never be a whole again.

xxx

let me know how you like it, and if there's anything I should change!

- Kendra xo

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