( 🦋 ) 𝗯𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗹𝘆 ❜ ʰᵘᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍᵏᵃⁱ ᵏᵃᵐᵃˡ

11/3/19 | 휴닝카이

NOVEMBER 3 YEAR 19

Taehyun went over a friend to do a project this morning. I told him yesterday that I'd tag along, but that moron didn't even bother to wake me up!... or maybe he did... I just didn't budge.

Whatever - I can manage being alone with myself (his parents were out on a date). I watched a movie, played some games on his computer and went outside his yard to relax and let my mind flew for a bit.

These past few months have been quite something I haven't experienced before. People might think that I'm way over not emotional, because I'm not remorsing my family's death. But trust me, I was devastated. I still am sad that I didn't get to say goobye to them or share our last good memories together. Everything I planned out was suddenly cut off when the incident happened.

I didn't wanted them to die that early.

I wanted them to stay with me when I introduce them my first girlfriend. I wanted to see them test her in a way parents would be sure that she's the one I've been waiting for. I wanted to take picture of them with my future kids, their grandchildren. I wanted my sister to play with her future nieces and nephews and she would be their favourite among their other aunts and uncles (my friends).

But all of it has just been shattered and broken just with that incident. After a few weeks of faking my smiles in front of everyone and remorsing, I finally realised that I must keep going forward.

"Look ahead, never back." was what my father told me. Taehyun told me that my parents wouldn't want me to stop on my tracks, instead, they want me to do what I planned on doing. Just... without them by my side.

And I just had to let go.

They will not disappear in my memories. I will still remember and cherish them and every of our memories together.

엄마, 아빠, 지야-씨
정말 사랑합니다.

ㅡ HUENINGKAI, 11:43