𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐀𝐆𝐄 [𝐂. 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒] [𝟑]

69 | Real Life

she walks slowly and unsure.

she doesn't know if she really wants to ring the bell or to turn around and flee. her instinct is yelling at her to get back into her car, to pretend she'd never set foot near his house.

but she also knows she needs to. that they need to talk, to put things behind their backs, to allow themselves to fix their relationship.

and so she rings the bell.

as soon as the door opens she's shoved a foot backwards. Dodger oofs loudly when when he lands on top of her, tail wagging.

Matilda laughs, relieved with the reaction she'd gotten from the dog.

"Dodger, get off boy."

her skin prickles. Chris offers his hand for her to get up, pulling her to her feet.

"hi"

her voice is low, giving away how unsure she is to talk to him. he looks the same, towering over her, two times her size. he looks relaxed.

"hi Tills."

he sounds strained. like he himself isn't sure as to why she's there. it only makes her want to run even harder.

"are you gonna let me in?"

"right, sure, of course, come on in"

she takes a deep breath. follows him inside and closes the door behind Dodger.

everything looks the same. the decor, the way things are displayed.

he offers her coffee. prepares it with sugar rather than milk. despite having spent days to no end on set together he still doesn't know it. she tries not to feel discouraged about it.

"can we talk?"

he scoffs.

"well, you didn't come here for coffee and to stare at me did you? otherwise you would have stayed with your friends."

that hits her hard. her phone vibrates in her back pocket. her eyes close and she sighs, dejected.

"see, they already miss you. go ahead, check who it is."

she does (it's Niall, telling her that everyone would be going out for an early dinner, asking her if she wanted to go as well.)

putting the phone away again, she turns to Chris again.

"I can't do this anymore. I see photos of you with different men everyday out in New York, all happy and smiley, not even bothering to call me! I'm tired! I don't want to do this anymore."

she feels the tears rising. placing the mug on the counter, she gets up from her stool.

"so, what you mean, is that we're through?"

"yes, Matilda, it is."

he sounds no more happy than she is, but he sounds like he's made his decision.

and so nods, knowing full well that if she were to stay there another minute, she'd start crying.

"right. well, I can see myself out."

just as she crosses the threshold, he speaks out.

"is it about me? the song."

she scoffs at how absurd that would be. the five months they'd been together had been productive for her, but that particular one hadn't been.

"we wrote that in 2015. of course it isn't."

"yes but, do you associate it to me?"

this time her scoff is more of a disappointed laugh than anything else.

"no. if a song is written about one particular man, then I never associate it with another one. it's a memory, not a fantasy."

this time he let's her go. Matilda closes the door behind her one more time.

sitting in silence, playing with her phone, she decides that a drink would be great.

starting her car, it seems obvious as to where she's going.