Envie De Voyager

Glass Coffin Review

Author: SoarLikeTheWind

I definitely need to start with what I really like about your work. I'm going to try to give compliments and praise to parts that I don't get highlighted as much by others. Redundancy isn't going to help.

I can't help but admire how I can hear Suishou in my head (She sounds like Sonoda Umi in my head,to be more specific). The way you write with her voice and the pacing of certain portions make it a lot more realistic, in the sense that I can imagine her stating her experiences to me. I could almost feel how she imagine the hyperventilation in scenes where thoughts start to pop up one after the other. It's something I aim to reach for with my interpretation of Suabara's thoughts myself.

Intrigue is quite well-planted into the minds of the readers. Using the Kageyama underlings at times adds a bit more background and plot progression to push the story forwards, and you've executed it well. Other times, it's how I know that this is connected to LATM that makes me look for anything to connect the two. Knowing how things will somehow end makes the path towards it seem to be much more exciting, at least for me. I don't see any real problems with how you drop revelations yet, so I can't say much against it.

The use of figurative language and the choice of words for a number of descriptions, quite bluntly, steals much of my attention away from other things. You have a knack for some quite symbolic lines, and part of me believes that I might actually enjoy the way you write more than the story itself. In fact, I likely wouldn't have spotted flaws unless I try to get myself off the writing.

Now, no work is perfect.

I'm a little torn about your new title, to be honest. What strikes me when I read your title is the story of an individual who seemingly watches everything happen powerlessly, like a dead individual who can see everything. Sometimes, I feel like it's a reference to her body itself, being a fragile container for a soul that'll be shattered. On another note, I also manage to think of the fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm, Glass or Crystal Coffin—which I don't think has anything to do with the story altogether. I find it to be intriguing, but it seems to only apply for the first few chapters, if my personal interpretation is anything to go by. Sure, she ultimately becomes a pawn for Kageyama and is shown as an antagonist, but she seems to be less helpless and more assertive with her development so far.

The use of the words 'cyborg reborn' always seems to be off to me. I guess part of it can be attributed to its strange construction, that always makes me think of a remade cyborg than someone who has been turned into one. Aside from that, I think I've also spotted some sentences that seem to be a little bit odd (Whether they be a tad messily constructed or seem to benefit more from being separated into different sentences) like the 'whimsical fairy tale' sentence and the last sentence in the chapter Leaden Arrow. Both of those sentences seemed to be a little frisk, though it might just be the way I read it.

Something I'd like to note is that there are some situations I wish you would manage to squeeze the pulp out of. They're without a doubt well-done, but the itching yearning is there. It's like hearing a singer sing a song with all the notes getting touched upon masterfully, but not managing to exceed the high notes in a way that would blow everyone else out of the water. The way you build up to them is smooth, and I can savour the emotion that you manage to present.

But sometimes, it just ends a little abruptly in my eyes. For example, the suspicions that Yuuichi had—I thought that for some while, Hakuchou would be a little bit more reluctant or spooked by Hiraga and all the hospital staff. I also felt that Yuuichi and Amemiya's characters could be exploited just a little bit more. I think the most glaring one for me was how Misako's and Yokato's rejection of Hakuchou didn't seem to last too long. I felt that it should've at least made her lethargic for some time, as she was craving for her normal life. She had her expectations set to a high bar, but she hit the bar instead of going over it. I understand that for those times that the emotions are abruptly cut, you were trying to keep to the more relevant events, and prevent a sort of drag that might reduce the overall quality of the book. However, I do want to bring that up.

It's still the dawn of Suishou's time at Mikage, so I can't think of other things I ought to bring to your attention yet. Mostly, I think it's just that your work has some avenues that could've been exploited further. It's a beautiful piece, and I enjoy reading it—especially seeing the truth to how there are just some people who would drop you as soon as you start to be something...eerie. Though Hakuchou sometimes seems to swing in mood and perspectives, I don't think they contrast too much to be odd, and comes off to me as human instead of inconsistent.