July 4th, 2018
After last week, Greg thought life couldn't get any edgier. But it really did get much worse.
Greg was sitting at a BBQ table eating a hot dog. It was a scorching hot day (at 110 degrees Fahrenheit which is really fucking hot), Rowley was dabbing on his haters whilst watching a Joshie Red Tube video about how to become an ultimate G. Roderick, Greg's cuck of a brother started deepthroating a hot dog or some gay shit IDK.
Susan and Frank then entered the outdoor area place. Susan said with sadness in her voice: "Rowley, your mum committed suicide. She left a note." Rowley furiously dabbed with a fidget spinner in his left hand and said: "catch me outside how 'bout that?" "He's autistic, Mum, remember."
"I ain't give a shit if he's autistic or not. If I smack his pill looking ass head hard enough, his autism will stop. Anyways, imma read this shit." Said Susan, in her repressed hood voice (she grew up in Flint, Michigan BTW)
Susan read the suicide in a calm, soft voice:
"Dear my failed abortion of a son Rowley,
Apart from your 'dad' walking out on me, you're the main reason why imma kill myself!
I hate your fucking guts you white piece of shit! I wish your uncle pulled out after he fucked me raw like the whore I am!
I leave you nothing because I fucking hate you. With your dead trim, and cringey catchphrases!
Go Zoo wee mama yourself. You worthless piece of shit that will never accomplish anything in their life, not even outperform Greg and he's the scrawniest loser I've met in my entire life! Like seriously, a 2-year-old could beat his ugly ass up, no joke.
Also, stop staring at Joshie's ass; it ain't normal behaviour.
P.S. Y'all dad ain't y'all real dad, Uncle Colin is. You're basically incest in its purest form😂😂😂😂😂
Susan then smacked the shit out of Rowley's face and at that moment, the autism bug skrrt'd outta Rowley's body and went into Fregly's instead (JK, the bug had a battle royale with his schizophrenia instead LMAO!!!).
It was at that moment when Rowley knew, he was an orphan and that he lost his butt virginity to his...I don't wanna say it... imma 'bout to puke *hydro pumps vomit out all ends* his father!!!!!
Rowley screamed so loudly that his shrill, girly scream could be heard in Bali.
Meanwhile in Bali:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!
"FFS, not Krakatoa again!" said an elderly man literally eating the corpse of his dead wife because pussy's pussy dead or not amirite guys...hahaha wtf is my life even?
On full impact, Greg's leg bones turned to a fine white powder (ouch).
"Better take him to the doctor LMAO!" Said Rodrick, with a mysteriously white fluid around his lips.
"FFS Rodrick stop drinking from the milk carton, use a drinking glass you sick fuck!" Said Frank, in disgust. What did you think the white fluid was initially? Write your answer comment below, and I might respond to ya. You sick fuck😁
Anyways, back to the scene...
Greg the whore, is on the floor, while Manny is eating a s'more (because we stan childhood diabetes now innit). "I don't wanna pay $150,000 for an ambulance, he's not even worth $1!" Said Susan, Savagely. "Let's call SpongeBob instead, he has a doctorate degree."
SpongeBob arrived on the scene. "He has osteoporosis, the weedy cunt; bahahah!"
"I'm shook AF" said Fregley in his closet; staring through his peeping hole.
THE END FOR NOW
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick's Draw
FanfictionWhile playing with Rowley, Greg and Rowley want some dank memes and decide to go to Rodrick's room because he got that shit. However, they find things that go against the Geneva Convention. What it's in the draw? Fucking read the story first you fuc...
