Hello, Just Me Here

The Note

The note is the one others never wish to see

The note is what some yearn to write

Yes, that kind of note

A suicide note

A receipt for the life you've decided to return

How does it go?

Does anyone really know?

Maybe something like this

First off let's start by apologizing

To my mother

I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you wanted nor did I exceed your expectations

I'm sorry I've become everything you didn't want me to be

I'm sorry I let you down

To my father

Forgive me for I was not the son you wished I was

Nor was I the perfect daughter you wished I'd become

I'm sorry I caused so much trouble

I'm sorry I always seemed to go down the wrong path

I'm sorry I let you down

To my sister

Forgive me for not staying by your side

To my brother

I'm sorry we didn't really get to know each other

To my friends

Forgive me for not being able to help

Promise me you'll stay alive, you won't try to follow

I love you all

I'm sorry I always let you down

To E.P.

I'm sorry I couldn't help you

I'm sorry I wasted your time

Forgive me for being such a mess

The fights were never your fault, they were all mine

Promise you won't follow

You deserve better after all

I'm sorry I let you down

I was never there when you began to fall

To my mind

Congratulations

You won

You're right

I'm a failure

Like I've always been

But I'm human

That's what humans do isn't it?

We fail

They say that you have to fail to succeed

But how can I succeed when I keep hitting a wall

How can I climb when all I can do is fall

How can I live when there's nothing left to live for

I failed them all

So congrats mind

You won this time

I'm sure it'll sound something along those lines

But I'm not done you see?

I still have a war to fight

And friends who need recovery

I still have this mind I can prove wrong

I still have the ability to stay strong

At least

For a little longer